Wicked - The Portrait

The Golden Proportion & Hence Forward Present..

The Portrait

My spastic style
proves I'm the bastard child
of madness, piled
on my ancestor's backs.
It's foul:
how, masked in clouds,
my history's contorted
and casts in the bowls
of a hidious portrait
that lasts, still, now..
..A hidious portrait that lasts, still, now.

The Painters: a rotten cast
prove I'm the bastard son
of a forgotten past;
locked and masked
by clever brush strokes
which blot the trash
of thier plots to smash my blod's will,
but succeed, my blood will
and I will show them what a man is
when I spill my drink on the painting
and reveal the canvas..
..When I spill my drink on the paintingand reveal the canvas.

May god bless the day
I was born a bastard son
without a yesterday.
My mind was streatched in ways
so I'd admired The Painter's artwork.
I respected the hard work
until I relized
it was the cause of my heart's hurt.
They took from me - From us.
But fuck thier art.
I'll show them what a stand is
when I spit my drink on the painting
and reveal the canvas.
Trust me. I will reveal the canvas.

-W1

Writer's Note: I'm trying a new style with this one. I wrote the first stanza of this in a cypher. I had to further explore it. It's about the image I learned of "my" history in through conventional schooling(The Portrait). The last stanza explained how I admired the writers of history(The Painters). Later in life, I hated them though. They were why I didn't fully know my past and it was a bullshit month of the year and, in public schools, almost all of the image was scued. Thier clever brustrokes mislead me, and the overall theme is to find my past, in order to find who I am. And in doing that, destroy the bullshit image that The Painters force-fed me as a child. I think it also has undertones of being fatherless, and that hurting my wish to know my past as well. There are many different levels this poem reaches for me. I just wanted to share some with this note. I hope you enjoyed. Thank you for reading.

Ps. Lol at this being longer than the piece.

When di you come back wick.

I'm using my grandmother's computer. I won't really be back for a couple weeks.

Damn good use of imagery and metaphor. I really like the fact that you used a different style than most cats around here. I hate it when people don't like something because it's in a different style, or when people are afraid to experiment with something different. You seem to evolve, slowly, but you evolve. I remember that I didn't really like your style before, but I see that you have become a great writer. You combined emotion with imagery, to forge a great poem. What really caught my eye was your rhyme scheme, fast, with good multiple rhymes, and internal rhyme. I really liked this poem. The first work that I've seen from you in a long ass time. I hope you keep dropping, I'd be more than glad to give feedback.

The flow of this was ill, i'm really feeling how you set this one up and basically let each line fill you in on the last, it seemed to cascade down to the end, you've got a fan :thumbup:
-Fiasco

nice job wicked you did a nice job with the flow and the new style was just great nice work.

Thanks for the feed.

-W1