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verrse from a song
here is a verse from a song i wrote for my girl we been together fr 7 months tell me what you think
damn, i can still remember
how u were in my heart forever
and how my dreams cam true one day in september
wit those lil angel eyes
and your cute lil smile
and your looks that just drive me wild
i cant even explain the warmth i feel wen you touch me
or the feeling i get when you tell me you love me
every night before i go to sleep i thank god for ya
just promise you will always be my babigurl
me and you together we can rule the world
these past months have been the best of my life
but it took hard work just to make us rite
i only think about you before i sleep at night
when my life is cloudy you give me light
when God created us he had a special plan
you as my girl and me as your man
so if you wanna see the world just take my hand
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[url]http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?
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You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
And just so you know. Due to some of these gay rules now you have to have a actual title such as i would probably call this piece "7 Months Of Us"
Start naming your pieces man.
Credz if you have a problem with the new rules, I expect you to discus that with me, and not make such comments as you have here. That is counter productive to everything I'm trying to do to turn this forum around and regain it's respectablity. If you have an issue, come see me...
-Bounce
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You put emotion into the verse, which was good. Your ideas seemed played, with added creativity, you can make this type of piece seem fresh. With a personal verse like this, you could have been more descriptive about your feelings, bringing up actual events, instead of general concepts. But as long as she likes it, that's all that matters.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185738
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lol shee didnt like it lol she just looked at it nad walked away i donmt know if it was cuz she was embarresed or w/e i'm her first real boyfriend but thanks anyway
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lets get some replies people replies replies replies
