As I'm Laying In My Bed...

As I’m lying in my bed…I wondered what you were doing and if you were thinking about me…
I mean believe it or not I think about you 24/7
It’s so hard to get you out my mind, I tried everything…wait, I’m saying it’s a bad thing or anything…I’m just saying that I like you and everything, but I don’t know if I love you
Well, its obvious that you love me, because you call when I least expect it, like when I’m sleeping, or when I’m in the shower, or even when I’m not in a good mood and I pick anyway
I also looked up the word “love” so I can make sure that what I’m feeling is real
“Love: A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance”
Love is a deep passionate word, and I noticed that I’m feeling what that definition has explained for me
In my eyes, you show me more of what that definition has said
I’m going to put this into perspective for you
The love you show me is more than a sexual desire; it’s more than emotion of sex and romance
Your is real…it’s real that I an touch and feel the love you bring towards me
I mean when you first showed your love, I didn’t pay attention, I didn’t pay no mind…
But you did manage to open my eyes and show me what I was missing
I was missing the one and only person that ever showed me love, the one and only person that actually loved me for me…not because I have a nice car…or because I have the money to buy her pearls
I was missing the one and only person that loved me for one reason and one reason only
Does the word “personality” ring a bell?
She said my personality was flawless….that it was unique, that it brightened up her day when she was feeling like no one cared about her
But I choose to avoid like and idiot…I choose to let her miss and adore me…it was like I was torturing her with the love she threw at me…and I felt wronged for it
I still feel wronged and wish I could re-write the wrong I caused…that girl loved and cherished me and I didn’t do anything about it…not one single thing!
But as I lie in my bed…I’m wondering how could I let such a love slip through my fingers?
She basically just gave me her heart and I felt like I just crushed it into two hundred, million dreadful pieces of blood
But wait…I’m getting a call from cell…it says it’s a call form my best friend he says, “Man, I got some bad news…but I gotta tell you…”
As I listened to what he had to say…I reacted by throwing my phone at my wall with malice force, and I broke down and cried…
“Man, she died in a car accident, she was ran off the road by a truck, and caused her to drive off a bridge and into a swamp…I’m sorry… (click)”
I broke and cried over her like it was mother who died…but it was the girl who loved, cherished, adored and couldn’t breathe without me
I felt like it was my fault