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Re: A Disciple's Thread
To be honest I heard Sug say he was shot and it’s not confirmed either. Dont remember the documentary though
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Cliche… dying was easy it was coming back to life that was so hard
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And hurt so much
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DONT EVER GET A PHULLY STEAK IN WATERBURY - gross as fuck
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Yeah I think she did give me meds and I forgot or didn’t notice she wasn’t a psych and yes I did have an allergic reaction
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He said someone may have sued… who?
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I got assaulted and called my therapist to tell her it happened again and she called and bipassed me by calling the er saying it was psychosis admit me
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And they did even after seeing a cut on my vv too
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They don’t care about us either!
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Hungry… but still can’t afford a slice of pizza
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Because I like slow mo and saving lives
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AND SUPPORTING MY SELF WITH NO ONE HAVE MONEY HANGING OVER MY HEAD
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Re: A Disciple's Thread
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Re: A Disciple's Thread
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Re: A Disciple's Thread
Pac..I have loved every single song I’ve heard from you lately… number 1 no one question that… wish you’d come back
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Re: A Disciple's Thread
They should complie an album with all these clips… Love Songs from the Grave
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Am I really tupacs baby mom? 👀
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For once I’m speechless right now
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Wait for the intern that gets this thread �� LMFAO
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Theatrical note: Hollins doesn’t like vampires causes he feels I should’ve been happier with my own family
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What about the word NO does this freak stalking my phone not understand!!!
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I just want to know how to make them all leave me alone
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I want restitution too
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Seriously though… when if my nightmare for their joke and fun and entertainment over?
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Yeah it always is the bye and fuck you bitch that make me snap sense in too
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Not that hurt I called it and really just want to feel better asap
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It set me back 2.5 weeks but at least I don’t have school and have couple of days to recover
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NO THANK YOU… EVERYBODY NO THANK YOU I RATHER BE A NUN
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don’t feel bed now I’m good… TRUST
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It’s finally over… I should be relieved
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I don’t know who he traded me for and idc… not that loyal to his walk anymore
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Re: A Disciple's Thread
I had a fucked up teen hood… got in a lot of trouble being to grown for my time. My brother and sister were both addicts so I grew to hate them… I started off selling weed but was more comfortable transporting coke and that’s what I did. I had drive and was very successful and loved my career. But trusting psych and ignoring all my problems and real issues caught up to me in my 30s and I just went down … I stopped running when I got into IBM in 99 had a relapse in 03 and just was happy I was good at something good too - not just good at being bad - so I get it
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The only reason why I never got caught or went to jail is because I am white so I used that profile to help my friends get out the hood too
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My father was rich and my mother was poor
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So I’m different
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It sucks to be good at something bad but when I relapsed and went back to the “game” it breathed life into me again
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Maybe cause all that praying brings us closer to God
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I was processed 14 hrs in prison for stealing a Lexus running for my life and was sentenced to a mandatory 6 months until the judge got evidence I only stole the car becuase I was gang raped and dropped charges contingent on if I ever get arrested again I serve both sentences
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It keeps me out of shit
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But boy being sick and broke really makes it hard lmao
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My sister and brother are die hard AA and NA people now and I inherited the addiction too… it just only shows up when I’m sad though but they have zero tolerance and don’t even wanna hear my problems unless I’m stone cold sober but I refuse to do that
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My mind is going.. one day my body will still be here when my is not and dealing with that is too much for me
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Me and my family are trying to make plans for the future when that happens but honestly I rather be dead
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I have no children other then the baby I had when I was 14.., I have no clue what happened to her and psych and family swear she doesn’t and never exists
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I remember for facts she does
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Psychiatry ruined and dictated my entire life and I hate them… BUT I have to take my meds and live it cause I have no choice - meds are critical but they are out of control and need to be regulated - they are doing illegal things and abusing patients but no one believes me
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I think it’s the same people or person that hurt me in Myrtle Beach 2010 when I stole the car - they saw they got away with it too and got worse
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In my heart I feel my stalker and abuser is a psych with means to travel
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I had him on DNA 3-4x and the hospital refused to even check and when st Mary’s did check, they never called the police and I don’t know what they did with the kit
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My therapist called the ER and told them to put me in paych and they did… SHE CALLED AND THEY DID
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She could’ve been anybody and was helping the rapist not me
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I already saw the movie we gonna make of it in a dream… 50 was in a business suit sitting in a chair with a scotch and those gold balls you juggle in one hand saying “that’s my wife” he gonna be in it I hope too
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And help us write it… hurry up let’s be the first to address mental health now a HIGE issue to our schools and society
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We are not all bad
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Honeslty… I think the drs masking symptoms and not addressing the real issues is what’s making us worse
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They just add more pills when we get more symptoms
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I currently take 4
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Every fucking night… I take them at night cause I don’t like walking around in a cloud and people seeing me like that
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I’m not trying to be famous… I’m trying to get paid and help some gold out the hood too - our youth too which are now all in their 20-30s too lmao
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Old head but I think the kids would laugh at how we did it… UHauls and all
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My father was a millionaire and died with $3.000 in the bank when he drunk himself to death… I think I know who was black mailing him tol
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The assets were frozen until the divorce cause he was moving so much money around… my mom was a house wife… she got good alimony and child support but started off modeling costumes and worked her way up and college to retiring as a project manager - I want to sss her rich again though I really wanna do that for her
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My dads house had 4 bedrooms and 2 people and we were 4 people in a 2 bedroom… at one point my bed was next to the dining room table… I didn’t resent my dad for it but I hated my step mom for it… she returned my victorious secrets present and told me I get my underwear at Walmart type bitch
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So how do I get back my dads money if I know who was black mailing him… that’s what I need a plan for
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Homely they can keep the fucking money just please put a memorial bench for him at his golf club
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Honestly*
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It’s why I can’t be bought and pac love me for that
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I almost ice picked my ex when I threw him out and he threw me $2000 and said good luck
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https://youtu.be/PBwAxmrE194?si=Sp3V7YIn5duHiVQ8
The first time I saw pink skies we were banging this in Queens… my boy dead now too but his brother still alive to help get this
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My family from floral park
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I’m from Baldwin
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Made the mistake of telling the psychs too much thinking they were really trying to help me… I told my dr it was one thing when I saw the weird shit faded but it fucked me up when I saw it sober
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The piece is locked up I can’t find it and only remember how it started… I grew up on the prime side, the ny dime side, for the pretty things in life you climb side
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Nah my step mom would hardly let my dad give us shit… he bought me a few cars and my jewelry and my labels clothes
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I’ll never understand until we trade places” you were right pac 😘😇 miss you angel
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Ain’t seen you in a minute
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https://youtu.be/Yltq23WMK04?si=_cr7xHVos-34oEUB
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I do see life and memories like videos and movies… the first time I heard “bitch I’m the man” I remembered kicking oh boy in the face on the switch and it’s how I got away
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My sister kept asking me if I was raped and I kept telling her no it was impossible… I was drugged not sure if it was that or emotionally I blocked it out cause I couldn’t handle it
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I was bleeding black and nobody even took me to a Dr type fucked up they should’ve told me and made sure I understood before I humiliated myself and screamed it everywhere
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When I wrote to Im the Man it bugged me out cause deeep down inside I already knew
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You’re the man*
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Post You're the Man.... (NAS)
You’re Da Man!!!
I was chilling in the crib one day
When 5 birds came and chased me away
I guess in a way, you can say
A lil birdy told me
That he was about to scold me
What I do? I was just keeping it real
Is it cause I realized in utter famine and thirst one will steal?
My neighbor couldn’t even give me a free glass of water
And of all that brought to me this new world order
A world that opened up and turned on me
Fuck what they in to, I wasn’t even trying to see
Ran out the door and was knocked down the stairs
Trying to keep cool on the block ignoring their stares
Then hell opened up and it turned into an inferno
Felt the heat penetrate my skin
To the point of desinigration
Turned the corner saw kids playing in the yard
So I gave up and said fuck it for them I am scarred
No sense of watching an innocent suffer, not given a chance
So look this white girl in the face and tell me it’s my last dance
Felt the smack, from my own father, an attack
And now, I am not even trying to make up for where I lack
Instead I turned around and said ok
If this is the way you wanna play
Instinct took over, I hardly had to think
I stared hard at the bitch recording me as I sipped my drink
Number one… thall shall not murder? … Ok
You really wanna play?
Off to the mall and around the block
I chose my weapon – hardly a glock
Drove to the scene
Yet somehow my heart still found a way to intervene
Eye to eye I fear no man
But what was said was so real, I began to understand
Looking back, all my memories flashed before me
Like that time dude slipped me a micky
It didn’t click until coming out of surgery that day
That when I woke I didn’t realized I was touched as I lay
Once a victim, the pattern is constant, I can name 3
3 motherfucking times I begged a motherfucker not to penetrate me
Trying hard to convince my body not to lock, it just makes it hurt more
So off to that other world my mind started to soar
I continued to look back on my life, my footprints in the sand
When I see my own I was carried? Now that shit I can’t fucking stand
Friends that I’d give my life for turned their backs and closed their doors
Laughing at the demons who picked me back up yet forgetting all yours
Shit got ill penning in my notebook
Codes that were written left me visibly shook
Abandoned by almost every one
I lived for nothing and then I was done
I was propositioned, I saw it my only way out
At this point I was a suicidal bitch without a doubt
Eventually, I learned how to deal with the real
My heart beats heavy some nights, just to remind me I still feel
I don’t know why I forgave my father yet again
But just when I was out, I heard the slaves cry --- so I jumped back in
Leave those who saved me?
Never, then what example or lesson would I be?
Now you wanna trick me?
Give orders out just to be a dick B?
My own brethren turn around and beat me?
All because this bitch wanna defeat me?
I tried to tell myself the humilitation of it all made me a better person
But feeling so fake and so weak, and still to get fucked over, that’s when it hurts then
But don’t they know… the reaper my best friend
I cloak up and ride just to make the offer with him
I ain’t afraid to lose my head to the sword
He even send me reminders, felt the roll, and what redemption my reward?
So I studied, stayed real, and conversated with ghosts and the best of them
Traced like over 1000 confessions, them begging me to justify them
I see it --- I see almost every angle
You no longer have me nor have that carrot to dangle
Pac said a flower grows in the concrete and showed me a pic
I even heard one grow in a dark room in a lyric by Kendrick
We never run in the city we come from
But I refuse to let these weak ass motherfuckers make me look dumb
Do you know my drills?
You think I let go just for the thrills?
I let go to remind them, any day, any time
And that isn’t just over my God given talent to rhyme
You can’t judge me for looking back to the times when I was most happy
Why would I betray the brotherhood that spawned me?
I want my position back
I think I’ve earned where I lack
Don’t get me wrong… I don’t have an ounce of hate in my heart
But don’t you dare question when, where, how, or why I called this war to start
And to my one, my burner in the bushes… I don’t know who what or where you are
But you’re MY God, and when I hit this shit out of the park for you I pray it go far.
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E harmony… fuck that right now I feel like I never want to date again
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My hell mate? I was shocked to realize I was waiting for him and that’s why I couldn’t feel
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And who id whisper too
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The song I don’t want to know is from pac for me and free by free the part when they say give me the keys it’s why my man not free
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Idky he refuse to tell me
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But right now when he’s mean to me or treats me like some submissive child I just get so mad and think what’s the point… love me for me I’m tired of everyone saying or thinking I have to be 100% sober when I just bump
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Freeway*
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Re: A Disciple's Thread
https://youtu.be/5B9LEPxu6f8?si=V34EsCsEG3B84lY_
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Pacs my angel…
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I guess we switching again?
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Was biggie one of the only ones that knew?
