SSR Week Four Champ Match: Soule (3-0) vs Spoken (2-1) (OPEN)

3055 A.E. (After Extinction)

"Entering the atmosphere, Captain!" Jones announces from the deck, nervous sweat dripping down his neck,
we've been space bound fifteen years, finally discovering a potential candidate to inhabit, I hope the ground is wet.
I miss the sound of rain, so fingers crossed for some residue that doesn't melt my suit, that would be pretty cool,
maybe a lake or ocean too, something that doesn't engulf the ship or produce creatures that'll try to eat my crew.

"Any news from The Revenue?"
"No, radio's cold, it seems we're alone."

"Don't worry, I'll get y'all home soon."

There's four of us. Two marines, a scientist and a medic. Mankind's where we left it, on a dying planet with no moon,
but honestly, my only guess is we step out onto the surface and the currents suck us into endlessness like a vacuum.
The doctor predicts otherwise, apparently, several drones have landed safely and photographed crisp skies,
our ship's built like a shield, no windows to look out, so we won't know until we open the door and risk life.


"Landing in five... four... three..."
"Here we go, drumroll please!"

"God, let us breathe..."

We land safely, thankfully, no noticeable pressure and I don't hear storms like on Mars,
so maybe we can add this planet to the charts and start to reproduce beyond the stars.
We suit up and prepare to open the hatch, "here's to oxygen instead of poisonous gas!"
I hit the button and all of a sudden, it's like I'm staring at a history hologram of grass.
There's flowers and butterflies, mountains hiding behind cotton clouds and whistling winds,
I begin to hear my men whispering when I get a hint of relief within my shivering skin.
It's everything we'd hoped for, crystal lakes and snow formed along the horizon,
we've been searching for a new beginning ever since Earth and a comet collided.
I always believed in our dreams and now it seems that belief was worth the time spent,
since day one, I knew there was something beyond the sun and that I'd find it.
"Let's explore a little bit, maybe we'll find something!" I smile and lead the expedition,
I listen as they share predictions, pondering the possibility of alternative dimensions.
Prepared for predatorily intentions, wondering what damage our weapons would inflict it,
what if we discover a beast and we can't kill it or can't even repent it? A suicide sentence.
"Hey, doc, that pack you have covers all conditions? Flesh wounds and toxic inflictions?"
"Yeah, we'll be fine as long as I'm alive!" He jests, but my chest suddenly feels compressed,
we arrive at a cave behind a waterfall, part of me screams to turn back to the point of stress.
Reaper tightens his vest, "I'll take nose incase this goes south into a monster's mouth..."
I ignore my doubts and let the others go first so I can cover the tail of our awkward route.
A chilly drought climbs up my spine, our flashlights barely reveal what waits ahead,
my weary awareness now a heavy dread, and my fears quickly replaced with red.
Claws like swords morph Jones into shredded meat, he's devoured before we can shriek,
it happens so fast we can hardly see what's ripping us apart in the brief glimpses unsheathed.
I can't read it's movements, Reaper unloads clips into dark tombs when I hear it scream,
something touches my feet, I aim my rifle and it's the doctor's head staring up at me.
"REAPER! THE EXIT! LET'S GO!" I begin running, dodging and weaving through tunnels,
my lungs imploding and expanding, every breath becoming more and more of a struggle.
The air is growing more demanding, the shadows causing delusions, adding to the trouble,
Reaper runs into me as we crash into a corner, the creature pulls him from the tussle.
I dive through the waterfall alone, my weapon ready as tears block my vision,
wishing I would've listened to my initial opinion, now my team is dead from my wrong decision.
I turn around to find my ship has been torn to pieces, and I lay here in the rain, cold...
the last hope for humanity, surrounded by demons, with no way home.

He isn’t…


..anything more than the words he spews,
Acted a bit shady till the curtains were moved.
Held all of his wits bold but leveled the noose
So that those who kept pulling, could embellish the ruse.
The time struck.. a sensitive hour he couldn’t excuse,
Trapped doors with hollow points serenading the booth.
Who is this?
A tone overcomes the silence in the room,
Puts the phone down as he stares on to the next clue.
.
.
.
Why can’t I remember as ... “you never could” echoes nearby
Closer than expected as the chair jolts from being reclined.
Who the hell? As he choked the weary being that sat beside,
“It’s me Lenny, your friend” thrice expelled with Demise.
What I’m saying is truth, now I’m here to help with the cries,
No more watching you sleep behind those enemies lies.
I swear I saw him choke her next i wake on her bedside,
Lifeless- as the rage tormented me from the inside.
As I left- trails of irate compulsion in my divide.
Sought to find the hands who bared witness to such a crime.
.
.
.
Effortless he swooned through the city in hopes of this all,
A tragedy that broke his heart into a riddle yet to be solved.
Countless hours, a coward is what was in search to be found,
Dead or alive that one’s souls wasn’t to be given mercy when taken down.
Then he would slumber back into his dismal remittance,
The monster within; a parcel that would show only death to his sickness.
No bounds or limits; he fed off those that had pulp through the veins,
Of the closest sorts for a more harbored delight painting disdain.
.
.
.
His appetite- only a reminder of the vile retch he’d be,
A duplicity for his wants to be renowned for his deeds.
Innocence taken- replacing his lust for such sanctum,
Provoking the goodness of faith as he would continue to hang them.
One by one left to be found till it got to close,
Then he woke and saw the monster that had taken his hope.

Marcel Dupree: you are here by sentence to life with no parole,
You will be in solitude confinement 23 hrs and only given 1 hour out the hole.
Given the luxury of life in commemoration of those taken,
Is far worse than death and remains why I’m forsaken.
The torture.
My memento!
Speak Ill as I was
But pleading insanity
Wasn’t given back then…

Soule: you appealed to my inner trekky with this. I felt like I was on that ship. Your progression and environmental descriptions brought out the topic uniquely and not cheesy. Usually spaces verses give off the feel that it was based off of Star Wars or Star Trek. Your take was new and fresh yet classic at the same time. Dope shit.

Spoken: I think you made the most of this verse being singular. I mean movement in the piece wasn't about distance but reveled in the changes of mental states. Each switch was like a meal with 5 items on the plate and you kept feeding my mind with these delicious wording. The crispness of simple reactions painted pictures yet staying in the blackness of the character. You drew me in then pushed me out when changes or revelations happens. Tight verse.

I gotta give this to Soule as his verse appealed to me more...

This one is tough for me to decide honestly because I liked both. I felt like both of you had oddly worded parts in your pieces, but those few flaws are overshadowed by the good qualities you both bring to the table. For Soule it was things like “prepared for predatorily intentions” that threw it off slightly. The story progression and picture you paint is crazy though. It reminds me of the narration from our Wanderer drops and it’s a cool concept that gets put down here in general. There’s emotional aspects for the characters and how they’re feeling or thinking, plus a vivid and descriptive portrait to go with each scene. His head popping up into frame is imaginable. Spoken went pure raw emotion and feeling. Lots of poetic language. Some wording issues where parts feel out of context or a bit rocky with the wording for me “ As I left- trails of irate compulsion in my divide” so there’s places like this where I feel like you go from modern day poet to Shakespeare. It’s always an emotion packed rollercoaster with your work in my opinion and emotions are your strongpoint, so getting to the end made the emotional ride a little more satisfying when it wrapped up with giving a name and a sort of sign off as if it was all a letter or sorts. It still didn’t conceptual topple your opponent Soule for me though. Conceptually there’s a clear winner in my mind and one piece was more captivating to read than the other…the small errors I could find to try and decide a winner were similar wording errors and finding a winner that way seems difficult for me…so for the more entertaining drop I gotta say

Vote Soule

So, Soule had a much fresher and more innovative take. Spoken's was much easier to read and flowed better. Soule has a better story here that i felt more invested in even though i hated the long lines. They were hard to read and flow at times. The rhyme scheme would then pick up again then id lose it again. But the story was really good throughout. Once Soule got into the main body of the peace it was much easier to read. Spoken, like i said flowed really well. The story however is similar to things i've seen albeit executed very well. I dug Spoken's a lot. It was very well written it just wasn't as original imo as Soule's

V/ Soule

good battle. excuse my late vote

3-0

I'll post new battles now.