I Cried…

I Cried…

I know I must love you because I cried today
I didn’t need the liquor to do so just cause I thought you had gone away
I haven’t cried sober in 21 years and 9 days
Cause once youve been hurt it’s a protection in a way
I haven’t opened back up in 15 years…
All I had was confusion and too much anger over too many tears
Over people that didn’t deserve it
So I grew strong and learned how to curb it
I fell in love once and then again right after
But then I’ve been alone ever since just caught in some rapture
That day I saw you the day angels intervened… that was sacred to me
It’s not running some groupie game it’s just how ever since i was locked up at 13 I see
To see you upset today totally broke my heart
And I love you so much I almost texted you when does death do us part
I know I love you… the first man more then cocaine
But I have to let you know in some ways I can’t let go of all of insane
There’s a calm to it and a peace
And I don’t want to ignore all of the illusions and shadows to say the least

I know I love you… and I know it’s true
Cause when you got upset all I wanted to do was hug you too
You said I only kissed you 4x the other night
And maybe that’s kinda what started this fight…
You hadn’t said I love you first in more than a week
And I get that you understand keeping score cause we know more about each other then we speak
I’m in it for the long haul… and I don’t ever want to be the source of your anger again
I just need to know together or not that you will always be my friend

I know I love you… and I know it’s been years
But we can fix it, fix us, we just have to be vocal about our fears
And maybe in a way we can find a new day to just start over
As Im banging “wish me luck” pulling the tarot card of the clover
I can’t believe I cried… it came once I got strong… it came twice like it belonged… but then when it hit on 3
I just fell the fuck out cause your voice mellowed me
I’m scared and parts of me knows you are too
What ever you got I can take… cause I’m not willing to lose my angel - and that’s you