Wk4/ Prayer (2-1) vs. Brandon Cee (2-1)

Ok, Gentlemen, week 4 is upon us...
It's a smaller group of participants this round.
Too many no-shows...let's see if we get more activity without em!

If reminding is needed...it goes like this...

Check in by Wednesday...or YOU LOSE! No exceptions...
At the time of check in drop the topic you wanna write about...
It can be about anything...this shit is about you, the person, you the writer...
What you have inside you that you wanna get out in written word.
Be it your shitty week, the story of you and your girl...
Your inner-most hatred, your ultimate adventure...
Whatever.
BUT MAKE SURE YOU LET YOUR TOPIC BE KNOWN AT TIME OF CHECK IN.
This is to reduce the chances of you waiting until the last minute...
Then posting up an old piece you wrote 3 years ago.
I REALLY hope you don't do shit like that...please write fresh, aight!

Maximum 36 lines...if you drop more, your opponent can request a DQ...
AND HE'LL GET IT! Please keep these verses fairly quick and easy to read.
That'll keep votes and interest going!

Due Friday, Midnight.

That's all, I guess...please tear this shit up!!!

Peace and good luck!!!
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Good Luck Brandon,

http://www.rama3d.com/images/guest/d...llen-angel.jpg
How Far I've Fallen.

How Far I've Fallen
By: Prayer

http://www.rama3d.com/images/guest/d...llen-angel.jpg

The pain in my heart erupts to my throat,
the flames of hell sheds ash into my soul.
Destiny bleeds on the edge of my fingers,
it’s catastrophic how betrayal just lingers.

Following the decisions of our holy father,
I’ve been banned for becoming a bother.
His daughter talked down upon his children,
yet he sends me down into the vermilion.
I’ve disappointed everyone that crosses,
with agony, I’ve finally come to lost this.

Yet, this world. . . .
a brilliant scarlet red,
with a leader who was only misled.
The dead, the rejections of heaven,
those few reflections of the rebellion.
Burn under the heat of anger and sanity,
their only small children of the amity.
These ashes that they have to breathe in,
are the solutions among gods reason.

How far I’ve fallen, is determined alone,
even the devil knows, there’s no place like home.
I’ve risen from a rejected child,
to a accepted demon; out of denial.
I‘ve fallen from the end of the light,
reborn by the descent of my life.
Watch as hell begins to rise again,
planning out it’s depression’s end.
We’re not tormented, we’re treated,
Lucifer helps us so we can see it.
We all have a reason, a meaning within us,
changing seasons and beating in lust.

The joy in my heart smoothes my throat,
the lights of hell cleanses my soul.
Destiny washes off the edge of my fingers,
it’s historical how a new beginning lingers.

*dead*

no topic yet, but check. My topic is Meet The Sunrise.

Dead? I'm heartbroken.

I edited in a topic...will edit my check with my verse. Sorry if I'm a little late....shit just came up after we talked Prayer.

Sorry, I went 42. Don't get pissed.

http://i5.tinypic.com/6pz1l00.png

Meet The Sunrise

Full of reds and yellows, I pretend
I'm mellow before I go so low you
can't hear me, but clear me of the
thoughts I had of a life I've never
lived, before I regret to live again.

Dreaming leads to believing in false hopes at first
Yet the spiral from the clouds revokes your birth
Demotes your curse; gives life to the undeserving
Pain-staklingly staking pain in hearts we're hurting
I've started working, but morale is a moral I gave up
And my diamond mind is an object I can't repay much
So betray love? Never would it occur in my soul or heart
Nor would it be one of my desires for us to fall apart

I wish to be seen, while I'm
lviing this dream - yet I am a fiend
to attention, so I am unclean. I regret
the life I'd been with, but the wife I live
with, I want her, I urge for her worst
scorn - so I may take it and love it
as I love her and feel then that
I'd want to care for our children -
SOMEDAY!

Decisions - I refuse to choose anything I'll regret then
I expect nothing fake, but I do accept a few exceptions
And she is the reason for reflection - mirrored hearts
We are entwined as the bite of souls allow in a bark
And somehow when we start the "good stuff" - I'm fine
In her eyes, I'm satisfied when they look up into mine
I'm crooked with times, her life is so crooked it's crazy
I never realized that we could be complete with a baby
So when I figured out she was pregnant, I was into it
Only to find out months later, that I was FUCKIN IMPOTENT!

How could it be? She cheated on me -
I'm back to the old me, back when
we first met. When it was all..
"Full of reds and yellows, I pretend
I'm mellow before I go so low you
can't hear me, but clear me of the
thoughts I had of a life I've never
lived, before I regret to live again."

. . . .!

Prayer… At first I thought I was reading an intricate emotions verse, it had a more poetical abstract vibe to it then a topical AT FIRST, but after the first section it was better. Your rhyme scheme was ok, wasn’t very smooth to begin with, got better, strayed a few lines and then got better to finish it off. Your approach on the topic wasn’t very original, and there wasn’t anything that really caught my attention, It was just a little too plain. Your structure was solid though, and overall I’d say it was an OK verse. Props …stay up.

Brandon Cee… Dope drop….sorry bro, I was really disappointed with your ending, it was so typical, I wish you had thought of something creative. Not to hate or nothing but the whole verse and writing was creative, so it would only make sense if you made the ending the same…..anywayyyys, that pissed me off lol. That would’ve had you winning hands down but now its just cause you had a more smooth rhyme scheme and more original content. Creative verse no doubt.

Vote – Brandon Cee

Well...I was more consumed by BC's verse. They were technichally prettty evenlly matched. they had an equally poetic undertone and the flow and rhyme schemes didnt stand out between the two. Prayers story was more creative but also unrealistic, there fore difficult to get into. BC I think P Mortuus wrote a very similar verse to this last week. But what thje hech you win by a nose and some eyebrow!!


V/ BC

Brandon Cee wins, 3-1
Prayer Loses, 2-2