My Story (Trilogy)

[Bloom.Quist]

My Story Part 1 (The Beginning)

Fear is inevitable, for you cannot tempt the barriers of your feelings.
Am I living for a purpose? Or am I living only to protract my sadness?
Prevaricators are all that I believe. Who will tell me why I am here?
Using my intellect to verbally express my feelings.
All I need in life is a paper and a pen. For I can control my expression.
Criticism and ridicule is what I get for trying to love.
IS life worth the fight? I’m not sure I can make it to the end.
In need of a revelation, or someone to love and depend on.
Will I make it? For day by day I weaken and corruption fills my body.
Valiant feelings, but my limit is coming close. I fear my end has come.

My Story Part 2 (The End)

The essence in my life has stopped. What once was so great has ceased to flow.
I cannot comprehend the demand of my peers. I can’t contain my pain.
Indecisively alive. Am I ready to die? For I no longer have anything to live for.
Unpretentious pain, but it is a feeling I cannot explain the horror of.
Living life people left behind. I am forever trapped with my past experiences to haunt my mind.
A barricade of hatred is defending me of true love. Can I brake free?
My greatest fear, has become my greatest joy.
I am an artisan of poetry, for it is what keeps me alive.
But I can’t answer my thoughts; the pain blinds me from the truth of life.
I now believe that this gun to my head is the answer to all my problems.

My Story 3 (Born Again)

As the gat takes the shot, my mind has cleared.
I have no feelings; Nothing but an empty space to be filled.
God has given me a chance to relive my mistakes, to set my wrongs right.
I am blessed to have lived life, but I know I made mistakes.
Forever I will be guided with love and kindness, to reflect on my inner being.
It’s time to relive. Time to live the life I once hated with so much feeling.
Ready to die, ready to live. I am eternally in thanks to the people whom I have loved.
It’s time to rise. I’m through with pain and sorrow. I will turn over a new leaf.
The Lord has distributed me a life with love. No longer shall I fear my own feelings.
Will this blessing last?

[Moniker]

well done. seperating it into parts was very appropriate, made it flow nicely. lacked some imagery however but the story telling was on point. overall it was a deep questioning piece and seemed to be strongly introspective.

[Bloom.Quist]

Why Thank You

[Bloom.Quist]

Lol originally i was saying., " i gotta write something that could make it into members but i dounf outthats hella hard" thx for the feed.

[Spoken]

this was a piece full of questions that everyone would love to have answers to, but we never get them. it makes the reader think, think about all sorts of things, and can become very personal and close to home for many. you took your thoughts and emotions and put them into a well written piece here. the structure was basic but flowed well, vocab was here and there, would come strong then fade away then come strong again. wrote the story out well, some parts i felt coudl have more detail, but the story was understood.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

[Bloom.Quist]

Thx for the feed up on this. I worked hard on this dont sleep.

[Marek]

i agree with the chick, this peice makes you think and wonder what in the hell went on...u know what im sayin
like, it leaves you with a lot of questions that you,
want answered, ya feel me, anyway..what i like about this peice is, your style is similiar to mine,
like..when you write your poems, you let your emotions speak with your pen, you know what im sayin man,
and i luv peices like that dude,
your vocabulary was a little shaky, but nonetheless, this was a good read.

return the favor............................................. .....

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118082

.................................................. .......................

PayCe

[Bloom.Quist]

Ill try to hit that up fo sho. Thx for the feed dawg.

[Bloom.Quist]

UPPPPPPP dam this shit gets slept