quick key

[djb]

the earth breeds harsh scenes violence succeeds
peeps fiend for sacred things as the reaper gleams
the sun is lost forever and night has overcome
its a shun when a beautiful life is relevant to none
some prey to the unkown to save there rotted souls
others turn there backs to ignore the myths whole
told bible stories ring with the distain of a rigged game
like ashley simpson or milli vanilli when they entertain
so now without path or road i ask who is there to mold
shall we pray or stray from gods overpowering control
can we truely choose our way or does the universe
do you believe life is a gift or the devils rude curse
i thirst for this knowledge dispite the ridicule taken
for mistaken would be to die unquenched and forsaken
and now i leave this piece of art for the critics to judge
continue my life reflecting on relfections of a false love

[Varentao]

You went a bit over the top with the wordplay sometimes. It didn't connect too well. But as i read on it came better. The subject mattere was a bit here and there. Which i guess comes with a 'quick key'. And closed kind of well with your last line. With some trimming down this would've been solid as a poetry open mic (spoken word). Not one to use over and over again maybe. But spur of the moment.

[Bloom.Quist]

Decent. Lacked a meaning, hence the title I guess. As V said, i agree ure wordplay was a little overused and in some cases the improper place. You have a decent grasp on how to write, so I say keep writing and elevate your knowledge of how to write good.

Varentao, you gonna write anything soon? Haven't read a piece of yours forever