Blood Bath

[Judge Judy]

Blood Bath


I see fluent ripples of death
A bathtub soaked in blood
With a rag towel of acid meth
to shrivel skin and burn the mud
jagged knives impale my chest
reflections of a violent child
a cloud of red evolves grotest
vivid image stings the wounds mild
the cement bathtub was hard
my dead body didn't feel the pain
lifes over with an expired card
i tremble a breath and explode insane
white steam afloats the air..
wofting the stench of death
water and blood leak everywhere
but my sense of care left...
my soul seeks revenge to insane
as i stair with a blinded pupils
i wonder about my loving mom
memories?..i remember a few still
but it will change when im gone
my farewell to lifes existance...
while my breathless body lays
fallen with a bloods persistance
to flow down the face and stay
my soul redeems his actions...
but my i feel my heart is absent
no touch for satisfactions...
my name is used in past tense
.
.
.
my retinas onyx, i cant see
the light fades away and im dead
horrific, yet its lifes destiny..
now i wither in this tub of red

-DeNiILL

[Marvman]

vocab was nice, the topic was d0pe. i like the A/B rhyme scheme, much more of a Poem format. the imagery worked well with the in depth vocab. finished off with very nice description of physical imagery. overall 9/10

best lines..were the last 4.

pz

[Judge Judy]

THanks Up.