User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Blood Rumors

  1. #1
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3

    Blood Rumors

    Flashes from cameras annoys him as he stands in front of a body,
    Crowd loud talks gives him a headache, while the air gives him chilies

    I stand here with no blood in my hands looking down at this corpse,
    Like biography without words, I don’t have any information to bring forth.
    What I do know that she is gone to heaven or hell, only god will judge,
    But it’s up to me to determine to find the cause of all this, it’s my blood,
    My soul, and I have to find the evidence to help it rest for eternity,
    Do everything in my power to clot the hole and stop the scars bleeding.

    Before the phone ringed for his assistance, before he took 12 pain killers,
    24 aspirins. Before morning came. Before he even slept in his own covers.
    It was After the words in his head took over him, and feeding for the truth,
    After he was unleashed from his shell and trapped inside his anger booth.
    .
    .”You didn’t do it”
    .
    She was going away, tired of being home alone and dust were her only friend,
    From the start it was the end, sex decreased madly tired of using toys and pretend.

    Suitcase filled with clothes. A paper filled with words. Pieces of glass on the floor,
    I tell myself “can’t take this no more” 2 years love been bore, sex like a penny; poor
    Eye’s red showing anger and sadness, regretting myself for living with this person
    That doesn’t care for me, our love is like a bread turning into mold; it’s gotten worsen.
    Rain pours from the outside and hopefully once I leave this house, the pain will drench,
    Off me and I will become anew. Sound of a slam door echoes in my ear, my stomach wench,
    My nostril tickles as I smell the alcohol in the air, blows hit my chest as he came closer,
    I stood there dumbly, sweating and shaking. I hear my heart loud beating, I stood as a poser.
    In agony. “Please, Please!” I yell, putting my hands in front of me to prevent him from coming,
    Knocked the wind out of me, and I fell. As I lay on the floor I hear growling humming.
    Felt my body moving, but I know my soul has gone to the heaven gates,
    I look down and I see my life has been relocated and move from my grave.

    A life now gone. her life disappears in the night and her soul flows into heaven,
    tree's and birds look down on her as she slowly decays. Phone rings 7 minutes after eleven.
    .
    .“You didn’t do it”
    .
    The phone ring beside him, waking him up, with alertness. Disgusted by his breath,
    As he talks on the phone. “Hello” with dullness in his voice. “Boss you better see this”.
    He gets up with such heavy blur in his eyes, but he knew his way around in the house,
    Felt a sting on his foot, smelled a nasty aroma, but he predicted it was prop a dead mouse.
    His spine shivers when he felt a urge of wetness below him, “I need to call the plumber”
    The fuck!? Does he know that’s glass he stepped on, blood he felt, does he know on the
    …Floor that was his own daughter?

    The rain beats on top of my car creating a drum beat that seems out of place,
    In my mind about the call, but I’m not worried, another body, another trace.
    I start to slow down as I saw red and blue flashing up ahead. A crowd is there,
    I park beside them, got out and walk through them and their uncomfortable stares.
    My footsteps walked faster, my high heels creating a loud noise, feeling scarce.
    Slowly I pace as I took a glimpse look at the body hair, it looks so familiar to me,
    My stomach turns to butterflies, the tingling aches me. “the world am I feeling?”
    The cold sting hits my wrist and I look around myself in a amazement “handcuffs?”,
    “do you recognize this person chief?” I wide eye’d at the picture “my daughter
    …Judith Bug”

    On his knees now feeling remorse but confuse, lift his head upward,
    tears of his own daughter splashes upon his face, he yells in thunder
    .
    .
    “ I DIDN’T DO IT!”


    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248709
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248675
    Last edited by ITawAPuddyKat; November 13th, 2005 at 12:14 AM

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Killa Kalli
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,839
    Battle Record
    24-8
    I Would Leave Feed but i cant really read the text
    its really small

  3. #3
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    I could read it.....

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  4. #4
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    uppin...........

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    33
    Posts
    425
    Battle Record
    6-5
    this was nice, a ltitle long, but the storyline was mad ill, the text si a little too big, but that messess up the structure a little to me, but its fine i guess. voacbulary was cool, and imagery was dope as well

    Flashes from cameras annoys him as he stands in front of a body,
    Crowd loud talks gives him a headache, while the air gives him chilies

    dope imagery there

    peep Gods Of Destruction

  6. #6
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    990
    Battle Record
    1-5
    Wow, this is one of the most exceptional pieces i have read in a long time.

    the Imagery was on point through the whole story, i had to look back a couple of times to really get the point, and i like a story, well OM rather, that keeps me guessing you did a great job with that and you really hit well with your dialogue everything about this piece was good.

  8. #8
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    Thank you. Uppin.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  9. #9
    Live, Love, Burn, Die
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    34
    Posts
    7,724
    Battle Record
    2-5
    The Final Chapter is taking over. I loved this. It was dope. Structure was good. Flowed nicee. Vocab, imagery, creativity, you name it you got it. I like the detail you used. I could basically picture everything happening. I give you an 9/10.

  10. #10
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    Thanks. Uppin......

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

Similar Threads

  1. Blood Over Paper (Blood Ink Collab)
    By Ntalek in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: November 7th, 2007, 07:32 PM
  2. Rumors
    By >Inertia> in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: November 11th, 2005, 12:55 PM
  3. Rumors
    By Verbatim in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: March 30th, 2004, 09:29 AM
  4. BlOoD iN bLoOd OUT {Real Shit}
    By Supreme in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: May 23rd, 2002, 05:56 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •