If he knew me now..

[Daz]

Inspired by my recent peice "Statistically Speaking"


i ponder the thoughts, while my tired feet wanders the course
cant see ahead, right now my sight is blind with remorse
chuz i know exactly what my actions are responsible for
so my mind vacations away from pain.. my final resort.
see recently what preachers have been trying to report
is that Jesus was so willing to die for my sort
but if he knew about my infidelities. I've bonded with whores.
would he still be willling to die for me and my cohorts?
I think not. see i dont believe in unmeasurable love
figure that depends on the size of your measuring cup
so if you believe its never ending, you feel you've measured enough
and never question. the lesson was to treasure his blood
In slavery. Whites thrashed in the 'Christian' to blacks
who sang hymnals to the rythms of whips on their backs
forced religion to those who were servin' the 'bosses'
while they continue'd to hang us from their burning crosses
the same cross that he carried for all of our sins
yet they harrassed us our ashes were hauled off by the wind
So would he still die for them?
the jews were slaughtered and martyred in Hitler's Holocaust
they paid the price with their lives..but how much does a hollow cost?
not as much as the trains in which they were carted off
or the chimneys where plenty of jewish stars were lost..
so had hitler repented, that relinquishes sinning?
& the dying just die, and the end be the ending?
in mass murders of innocent jews he resented
would he still go to heaven behind killings so senseless?
Would he die for him?
On a personal note, i've done things im not proud of
nothing as bad as gassing human beings in gas showers
however im not perfect, i've had some bad hours
where i've thrown myself around and watched the fags cower
i've sold drugs to my people..watched them killin their spouse
to feed mine and help foot some of the bills for the house
I've had sex before marriage..practically every night
shit i've even slept with my neighbor's wife
every commandment i've broken. i've basically failed
So i wont pass go. Collect nothing. Go straightly to hell
but if i repent now and realise that im fucked
then he's going to save me with undying love?
Why blindly trust?

Would he still die for me?

i got links im to lazy to paste em though

[Clee]

This was incredible Daz, I loved the topic, you really worded it well, outstanding use of multis, and vocabulary, this was so interesting to read, you really used to topic so vividly and expressed how you felt, you kind of fell of in the end, but that was only about 4 lines, the rest was amazing, you started very strong, and you really described everything very well, the imagrey in this piece was insane, it was great.

the jews were slaughtered and martyred in Hitler's Holocaust
they paid the price with their lives..but how much does a hollow cost?
not as much as the trains in which they were carted off
or the chimneys where plenty of jewish stars were lost..
so had hitler repented, that relinquishes sinning?
& the dying just die, and the end be the ending?
in mass murders of innocent jews he resented
would he still go to heaven behind killings so senseless?

Favorite lines, overall this was a very good piece, and I enjoyed reading this. Look forward to more of your pieces Daz.

If you could return the favor.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310694
Thanks.

[status_unknown]

Wtf? Once again, another piece being slept on that shouldn't be. The imagery was like whoooaaaa in this piece. Beatiful! This whole thing was fresh. It flowed nicely along with good vocabulary. Sorry this is getting well slept on, but it def deserves feedback.

Pz....

[Daz]

thanks. up ill rtf

[asianchamploo]

Nice flow, great topic.. I can't believe one could write so poetic..
Yeah, i could also imagine pics in my head while readin it.
good vocab impressive with the thoughts you have..
I give it 9/10.. great.. keep it up..

[Chrit.]

this was good...

at first glance I figured I'd get bored and stop reading half way through... way to keep my attention

good read... nothing wrong technically... wording was chosen well

nice job


go read that ink blot piece thing that bounce posted

[Daz]

Thanks Chrit

[Daz]

hello.

[ElusiveFugitive]

Fantastic piece Daz,

Content was really well though out. Flow is beautiful and effortlessly through the interrelated topics ie slavery, holocaust, Hitler, ones own faults etc...

I liked that you didnt get caught up in over-complicated metaphors, while the language appears simple the rhyme schemes are very skillfully put together and highlights your abilities.

Your imagery in my highlighted part below is moving...

"In slavery. Whites thrashed in the 'Christian' to blacks
who sang hymnals to the rythms of whips on their backs
forced religion to those who were servin' the 'bosses'
while they continue'd to hang us from their burning crosses"

Great piece, peace. Keep the ink flowin'

ONE LOVE
Elusive

[XxPHATExX]

This really got me to thinkin' man. This was deep to me, along with having flow and good rhyme scheme, It had real good character, You've brought questions to my head that I will dwell on for a long time. Good stuff bro.

[Daz]

why didnt this get a legends nod?

[Devastator™]

The last bump was in 06 homey... it got slept on.. like a LOT of talent did back when this site was in its hey day due to this forum mirroring "mainstream rap" in this aspect. Too many popularity contests and the masses dick riding certain people who didn't necessarily deserve it. I liked it though. Texting as a form of hip hop is almost like Latin at this point. A dead language.

[Mitchi]

man this shit was nice---nd its old piece.....so I cant wait for some of ya new shit---or some audio...it was some truth here and im asking myself too would he still die for them...hahahaha that's what real pieces is suppose to do get the consumer into the storie...nd u did that at every angle gj bro

[Child-Raising Badass]

best lines:
've had sex before marriage..practically every night
shit i've even slept with my neighbor's wife
every commandment i've broken. i've basically failed
So i wont pass go. Collect nothing. Go straightly to hell
but if i repent now and realise that im fucked
then he's going to save me with undying love?
Why blindly trust?

8/10 good job