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Thread: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

  1. #1
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
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    Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    Bilayer
    Lift the sun with a complex subject of tear drops.
    Mission's done after I collect the correct thoughts.
    A battlefield with landmines on the insides of me
    Elevating skills trying to combine my mind with dreams
    Ink fractures the force field sanity has projected
    As laughter takes a course filled with vanity and perfection
    Walk the map of the stars with both eyes stapled shut
    Signing autographs large. Graffiti artists see too much
    Both eyes bloodshot, crimson red tear drops stain me.
    Sky is lost and I'm looking for the thoughts that are remaining
    Before my head was emptied out I floated with clouds
    Stay hidden in crowds before I was found by sounds.
    Now musical notes carry my hopes past pitch black
    Ink runs down my throat after I wrote the path to math
    Numbers mumbled and equations are facing their relations
    Letters flow better when I'm impatient, forming pages sacred.
    Pry apart the heart of ignorance fighting with it's abyss
    From start to dark, through the mist I'm swinging gleaming fists.
    Golden arms, weightless like wings of a floating beauty
    Folded scorn shape shifts and dreams interrupt sleep rudely
    Wish my falling eyelids would hide me from dieing society
    Witness me drawing silence with written words so violently.
    Hold the constellation hostage, screaming for a smile
    Begging for her soft lips that haven't been felt in awhile.
    Want your earth with a perfect axis and rotation?
    Then take my birth and reverse my first day of contemplation.

    XCIII
    Dancing with the wind, listening to it's calling hymns,
    I'm closing my eyes from within as I'm crawling to him.
    He's one note above perfect, neither man nor creature,
    a prayer I wrote with the purpose to stand a dreamer.
    Whispering in my ear, giving me concepts to write for,
    I'm picturing a mirror, while drifting to the right door.
    I'd like more, like a universe where falling stars live,
    because without a living galaxy, our calling scars thin.
    Hand me a paintbrush to help my dreams come true,
    but I'll be damned to touch the light he runs through.
    So as I sculpture the promised land, blueprint aside,
    lend another second to understand the stint of life.
    I'm finished, as a breath's venting down my spine,
    the sky remains ours, the stars and a divine line.



    Tenebrific.

    While I gaze upon the stars, shining brightly in the sky,
    Radiating her flesh, leaving her with a shimmer in her eye.
    A prayer answered by the heavens, produced by the flames
    Born of dust, and woven into a woman, Eve was her name.
    Giving a chance, we form a family born under seduction
    But due to corruption cast out, with a thunderous eruption.
    Alive through pain, we endure these tribulations and trials,
    Yet manage to remain at peace, no longer forcing a smile
    So we look onward, with our eyes towards the prize
    Till we reach a piece, a piece of heaven in the sky…

    TJC
    As we finally reach the sky is ours
    The constellation vast, with faster stars
    Plenty to be proud, as the clouds of doubt disappear
    We see somebody dick in the ars from the rear
    How vast this universe really is, and now we conquer it
    Even tho in real live, we still play command and conquer
    Well that was back in the days, now we galactic
    Spaceship space craft, with mother’s base and even floating traffic
    Society walkin’ in tubes planet to planets, maybe visitin’ father’s base
    Well we have it all, and now the sky is our




    Links
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-386265.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rs-387367.html

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  2. #2

    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    I really like all these man. The first drop definitely had to be my favorite though. I really like your imagery. I'd appreciate it if you could give me some feedback on this battle verse I have posted.

  3. #3
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    bet will get to as possible

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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    upp

  5. #5
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    uppin again it seems like the good reads get slept on

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  6. #6
    Rosetti il Genio Rosetti Frost's Avatar
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    nice shit here........Bilayer's was nice with the multis........everybody else was nice with it too but his stuck out.................if you can please return the favor on my drop
    [YOUTUBE]QS8lbfHUI3Q[/YOUTUBE]

  7. #7
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    please guys.... 4 lines minimum if you want to get feed back from me.... i usually leave atleast 4-8+ lines for feed when i do... except in rare cases

  8. #8
    Rosetti il Genio Rosetti Frost's Avatar
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    aight my bad................i'll break it down

    Bilayer-nice multi's, overall flow was pretty smooth mostly,vocab game was on point and pretty much a good way to open it up.

    XCIII- nice flow, you stuck to the topic well which i like and can appreciate.........vocab is aight but i was looking for more multi's......overall it was pretty strong

    Tenebrific- flowed the best of all of them...............i like the line about the girl named eve...........nice drop

    TJC-stuck to the intergalacic shit nice.........could of used some multi's but overall not bad........i like the idea about the future
    [YOUTUBE]QS8lbfHUI3Q[/YOUTUBE]

  9. #9
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    Bilayer-that shit was hard homie. Your flow was on point, and the vocab was consistent. I haven't read much by you but you seem to know your shit. The last two lines were fire man. I'll start checking more of your work.

    XCIII-this was a nice verse, again another ill closer. But I would have liked to see a bit more, it just seemed kind of short after reading bi's. Not to say your flow was on point, cause it was. So was your vocab and take on the topic. It just seemed short though. I dont mean to ramble but Im high.

    Tenebrific-this was cool. Flow was solid, no real bones to pick, but damn we just got shorter from the first verse. I guess its starting to make sense as the verses just keep getting short. I mean it just doesnt give alot of room for feedback.

    TJC-I wouldnt say this was bad, but it seemed kind of sloppy like it it was rushed. I wasnt digging the conquer it/conquer rhyme, and the end just didnt even rhyme. I guess I could just this maybe as poetry, which would make it alot better, but it just didnt seem to be a great closer.

    Overall-this was well worth the read, but it just kind of seemed rushed. Bilayer came out with a solid verse, and the verses there after seemed to dwindle as they went on. I didnt really feel the end was as good as it could have been. Nobody came weak, but it just seemed to be rushed. Either way keep it yall.

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  10. #10
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    upping, i will get to ur pieces tomorrow, ty

  11. #11
    :.Swagger Found.: Uben. Sonned's Avatar
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    Upping. Will get links for this as well.

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    .Major League Gaming.
    XBOX 360 GT: COF Nightmare

  12. #12
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    Re: Two Minutes Hate Collab *The Sky is Ours*

    lala top it goes

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