Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
it's a pleasure Tim. good luck.
lets give them a show good luck
ext pweese
fine!
Motionless Wings
by Noodlebob Spongepants
call me 'special'...
our eyes haven't slept, haven't dreamt on a dark night
selecting soft tides to hide the dim-witted from shark bites
listen, stark cries are the harsh facts of harsh lives
the cuts have scarred like my heart met some sharp knives
it's hard times, fade to black above a smiling moon
trying to move, but my voice was nearly dying to croon
exciting the loom, my spindles were inside of a tomb
my soul spun a web, then I fell with no desire for doom
it's maniacal, the message was given a passage
vision and passion, methods made decisions of madness
I lived and transgressed, fire is heaven in an ugly dress
something pressed me while pushing my buttons as I fucking stressed
nothing less and nothing more, I'm depressed as my tongue
connected to some, but none of them were stuck in a section of love
test the water, catch the slaughter within glimpses of sun
pictures are stuck inside my brain until the mission is done
call me 'anti-Gabriel'...
no rainbow in the midst, someday it could visit
but this tainted halo never fit and my head made a collision
division of flesh and bone, speak for the bell
release a spell, curse the world to meet this demon [compelled]
that's me, every word within my speech couldn't tell
I'm not controlled, I'm damaged by the deceiver of hell
my wings don't expand, flames wither the thoughts
given a plot to map out while every last incision would rot
sticking the knots on the noose, the problem is truth
and the only other problem is that God doesn't choose
from bottom to the top, there's a hood in the city
thugs, gangsters, bullies; people the good shouldn't pity
I'm too rude for the sitting, so judged and condemned
the pieces in the promise mixed with blood and some phlegm
nothing, but them and me; I'm alone for the ending
act like nothing ever lasts since I'm the worst at pretending
call me 'The Voice of Treason'...
the battle begins as every person has a battle to win
after those fists crack the skies, there's no laughter or grin
disasters would hit, tears flow as the wine ages again
there's no price for death cause all those wages were sin
taking pages from my diary like a note to invent
hopeless intent, shattered dreams left me broken and bent
notice the tense, it's in the past, so my motion can start
but to NO avail at all, I've brought devotion to hearts
find me in the open; I'm impaled and then tossed
so this war becomes a moment where the trail isn't lost
compared to the lot of people, it's no fair to be "bossed"
so I'll take the pride of my life and leave it nailed to the cross
His second coming is as strong as the first! This is unfair!
http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/a...ures/angel.png
Last edited by Noodle; May 5th, 2010 at 01:29 AM
Portrait of an Angel
http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/a...ures/angel.png
True moments arise at the brink of light
sifting the pain of my eyes eluding my mind
A brain shafts my team concluding vast scenes
Paint and brush splashes the canvas whats it mean?
Call forth hatchets to dismantle our passion
Gave the faith to my doves to live passionate
Finally, I've reached this divine dream where it rains kisses
Blindly for this woman I'm dying through each sentence
She appears then gone like November in July's weather
Never clearly understood my lost feathers to be better
Creating a pictorial pathway..that will let her live forever
Shaded dim lamps across the chocolate skies ramp
Dance twice in the light to exemplify my chance
Took shades of pink and white from the horizon for her eyes
Then arranged the stars during nights without her in the skies
Stroked a smile across her tattered lips of fate
Provoked for miles as thoughts formed tips with paint
Lines aligned and connected with perfection
Smooth as rhyme, I listened to her mention complexion
Then adjusted the tones of her skin and beauty marks
Colored the rusted bones that could bend into soothing art
Quickly I cluttered the canvas with her outlandish image
Rippling, textures managed to vanish before I finished
Chased her movements, struggling to fill in the blanks
Faced improvements and troubles seem to kill my faith
Certain revelations cause enigmas to flash in modesty
Blew my brains past my futuristic footsteps in colonies
Suffered trauma in the mind..and confused a evil mockery
flowered my heart in ocean currents while I bled constantly
Waited, highly sedated with hatred, My fuel and inspiration
Medium is fading as helium carries this collapsed situation
These brush hairs never dared to grace pure beauty
Now colors flare as I stare into a face so soothing
Her tongue follows her lips, leaving me lost in existence
Almost done with this almost perfect
Then thoughts fought with resistance
Colors collided; Originality now formed her warm face
No others like it, only I could love this portrait misplaced
Hung without a frame, before her I stand as her only peer
A woman that'll never change, Etching adjectives in her mirror
I reach out.. For a kiss from her set of apocalypse
Then drift, into an endless canvas, through the mist
Towards her throne, her seat of everlasting life, but who are you??
A painting of a vivid memory, I guess since the crash I have no clue
Last edited by Tim; May 5th, 2010 at 04:39 AM
Then adjusted the tones of her skin and beauty marks
Colored the rusted bones that could bend into soothing art
Quickly I cluttered the canvas with her outlandish image
Rippling, textures managed to vanish before I finished
^^Tim this part was dope as hell my dude.. but there seemed to be too many parts in this piece that made me go ehhhh or "wtf, Tim?" like rhyming passion with passionate was really awkward... the November in July's weather was really weird.. 'cause it SHOULD be July's weather in November... lots of little mistakes like that littered all over the read.. like you may have been trying really hard and missed them, or maybe you rushed the piece in general... I dunno... either way.. I felt like there were just too many spots that I didn't like... the concept was cool. a bit unclear for me at times... but it seemed to wrap it up in the end and I got the jist of it... regardless of the parts I did like about it though, this really wasn't my favorite piece from you this season.. sorry bruh
Noodle... dope... there was only one weird part for me... "the cuts have scarred like my heart met some sharp knives" <<< really weak similie imo... it almost wasn't a similie at all that's how weak it was lol... other than that... everthing else just rolled right off the tounge.. concept was sick. I like the direction you took on this picture a lot better...
the battle begins as every person has a battle to win
after those fists crack the skies, there's no laughter or grin
disasters would hit, tears flow as the wine ages again
there's no price for death cause all those wages were sin
taking pages from my diary like a note to invent
hopeless intent, shattered dreams left me broken and bent
^^favorite part from your piece... liked how everything got sorta rapid.. pace picked up.. as if you wanted the ending to be more exciting.. the build up was cool...
overall... on Tim's side I was expecting more... Noodle brought some flames.. Tim brought partial flames... it was a good match.. but for me there was a solid winner
vote Noodle
Noodle, read the piece twice yesterday. Really liked it.
it's hard times, fade to black above a smiling moon
trying to move, but my voice was nearly dying to croon
Had to dictionary the word 'croon'. But after I found out what it meant. this line was dope as hell. The entire piece flowed pretty fluently/flawlessly. Don't recall any major skips or bruises. Happy to see you coming hard in the quarterfinals. Instead of just showing up. Know what I'm saying? The concept was pretty cool. Enjoyed the read.
Tim, I agree with Cry. You did have quite a few moments in your piece that just seemed to be more of a dent in it rather than a smooth spot. The parts Cry quoted were the lines I was going to quote. So apperently I'm not alone on the subject matter. The concept was cool. Alright read, must've been a hard week for you...
vote Noodle.
Noodle
That whole stanza was ridiculous and the build up was intense. You've really impressed me in the few weeks I've seen you write since I've been here and that stanza was a great ending to the concept and you really nailed the piece. I agree with Cry though, the 'sharp knives' line didn't need to be a similie and may have probably been better in a different context, but the flow in each stanza was top notch, you really bring your characters to life when you write and I think this was crazy because you made a demon feel like betraying Satan, but there was "no avail" and so there wasn't a point. I love the inner struggle and I felt for the character, though giving him more personality traits could have helped develop him a bit more. Overall, a cut above most this week, really enjoyed this piece. Good writing.the battle begins as every person has a battle to win
after those fists crack the skies, there's no laughter or grin
disasters would hit, tears flow as the wine ages again
there's no price for death cause all those wages were sin
taking pages from my diary like a note to invent
hopeless intent, shattered dreams left me broken and bent
notice the tense, it's in the past, so my motion can start
but to NO avail at all, I've brought devotion to hearts
Tim
I literally don't know what the fuck that means haha. The wording throughout the piece was so sketchy and didn't seem to be the real Tim we're used to reading from, very lazy and almost non-chalant about the whole piece. Seems you were either rushed or didn't put in the effort you usually do, for whatever reason, but that's the shitty part. This concept, from what I can gather, would have been completely dope if you brought it more. I think the imagery was nice in parts and for some of it there was quite a bit of emotion, but it wasn't really personable emotion, more like a distant emotion we see for a quick second and then it hides. Overall, this wasn't terrible, but nowhere near it needed to be and where it should have been in my opinion. Sorry.Call forth hatchets to dismantle our passion
Gave the faith to my doves to live passionate
v/Noodle
Wu-Tang Forever
Nothing Was The Same
Noodle advances.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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