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Thread: Her Queendom

  1. #1
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Her Queendom





    TIME WHISTLES

    POSING FOR THE SUN RUNNING GAME ON CONTENTION

    IT WASHES AWAY THE NEWNESS OF THE DAY

    AS IT MOVES FORWARD, A YOUNG FACE PEERS

    GLEAMING WITH INNOCENCE, SHE SMILES MILES

    IN HER HEAD SHE THINKS TO HERSELF


    -I LOVE THE SUN PLAYS THAT WITNESS TO THE AIR'S FRESHNESS

    THE SCENT OF BEING FREE GLAZE MY SENSES

    SPARK MY PATH TO FUN AND JOY-


    SHE STROLLS THE AVE AMONGST CITY COMMON DENOMINATORS

    INTERGRATERS OF HAVES AND HAVE NOTS

    WATCH PLOTS UNFOLD TO END IN DISPAIR OR RICHES

    SHE INCHES FORWARD TO THE PARK WHERE OTHERS PLAY

    HER MIND SAY...


    THIS WILL BE MY ONE SPOT

    THE SPOT WHERE NO ONE CAN HAVE

    MY TIME FROZEN

    MY LIFE STILL-


    -_-then she begin to sink into the pass

    where the darkness lie

    where nights were spent on her knees pleading for redemption

    missionary tactics from pedifiliactic action

    her eyes lose traction on tears

    they race for the moon glow

    her breath slows, add 20 pounds to her lungs

    here in her spot she revel in the badness-_-


    -i hope that i can stay here forever

    never be that one who been bowed out

    left to be Satan's bitch

    twitch on sudden sex till next john cums

    i will find the power to RAISE MY VOICE!!!!-


    *SO HERE I WILL STAKE MY CLAIM TO ALL GOOD

    TO ALL THE LOVE THAT THOSE WHO DON'T HAVE THAT WILL GIVE

    I WILL BURY THE PAST AND STAND ON IT TO REACH MY FUTURE

    I WILL NEVER GO HOME AND BE A PAWN WHEN THIS PLACE MAKES ME A QUEEN!!!*


    SHE GOES AND PLAY LIKE NO TOMORROW

    IN THE MIST COMES DAD WHO HAD ENOUGH OF HER BEING HERE

    HE GRABS HER ARM AND TELL HER TO MOVE


    SHE YELLS NO


    HE YELLS BRING YA ASS ON!

    SHE YELLS NEVER,

    NEVER WILL YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN,

    NEVER YOU WILL FUCK ME LIKE AN ADULT

    NEVER YOU WILL MAKE ME YOUR PAWN


    AND SHE GRABS A BROKEN BOTTLE

    THROTTLE THE JAGGED EDGES TO HIS THROAT

    PIERCING HIS DEFENSES, HE DROPS TO A RED FUTURE

    CROAKING FOR FORGIVENESS

    HE DIE......



    SHE DROPS THE REDEMPTION AND BEGAN TO MAKE HER QUEENDOM...


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    Best Topical Writer: 143

  2. #2
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Best Topical Writer: 143

  3. #3
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    Re: Her Queendom

    sorry, i couldn't get into it... reads too literally
    and melodramatically

    good advice would be to say more with less words.

    i'm sorry to be so critical

  4. #4
    do you know this dope? Alyse Miller's Avatar
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    Re: Her Queendom

    rofl @ the picture.. but sorry i couldnt get into it mainy cause of your bright colors and it seemed random in places of the poems. wording was kinda basic but i did enjoy it a lil dont get me wrong. but work on wording and depth and dont do this coloring and diff text in your pieces it looks kinda newbish.
    OKC

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