The Strain

[Spoken]

I.
Slow hands reach the sky.
for comfort dispersed in clouds
Tearing reign fall dreams.

II.
He is lonely; cold
shivering with mold beside-
Silver sparkle bins.

III.
Gasping for some life,
with IV swords contorted.
Mocking life with death.

IV.
Mildew spring rapes him,
with charcoal glass of ashes.
Time sleeps dead in pain.

V.
Bartender lover.
Mix me with liquor sorrow,
drunk with memories.

VI.
Star shot wishing peace,
Hannibal by full moons so-
Keep your ass on seats.

VII.
Bent for perception,
Visual massacre seeps.
A crimson story.

VIII.
Tosses, turns in sleep,
Blanket of wet dreams puddle
With stranger mud holes.
 
VIIII.
Times new roman letters,
paragraph cracked ceramic-
Thermo- resin pen.

X.
Another day home,
no office needs his baggage,
Written paper dreams.  

The Strain-The Strange
The Same-The Change

I can't afford reality  

[Intricate_skillz]

Bartender lover,
Mix me with liquor sorrow,
Drunk with memories,

Star shot wishing peace,
Hannibal by full moon so-
Keep ur ass on seats-

Nice piece bro- i really got a visual from these lines- im not one to point out bad points in poetry, cause poetry is expression of self and feeling- and how can u say ones feelings are wrong- i really enjoyed reading this- and will read more of your work- keep up the good work- and stay true to urself'-

[Spoken]

Thanks man welcome o the site and drop dopeness

[Spoken]

Bump

[TANGLUNG]

V.
Bartender lover.
Mix me with liquor sorrow,
drunk with memories.

  

a killer haiku there my man. the entire dropped read like a day in the life of
or various scenes of many lives at one centralized place in time
which was the beauty of it. the meshing of the few to get the most potent effect was accomplished in spades here.haiku is not
as simple a process as it may seem.more with less/less is more is very difficult with a million thoughts all zipping by at 100 miles an hour.{or maybe its just me} either way, you made the process look effortless. enjoyed the read.respect

[S Kaid]

I feel like max off of streets of rage 2 when he dies when I read this. But the sound he makes isn't as down playing than the fact that he died. lol...

Your structure was on point - I could get the flow of it and it was easy to read so I guess I approve. As long as it has a nice flow, means something and there are no run on sentences then I give a B rating off rip, if a B rating then your above par.

Yes!

[Spoken]

Wish this had more views... up??