'Dreamt'

[Dkoi]

I once dreamt that
I sat and watched the starving earth
consume itself. Watched as
trees shrivled to a simple seed,
as clouds began to recede
to nothingness. And I was not afraid
for everything was nothingness,
and nothingness was life.

[ItoldUIwasFat]

hmm this felt a little like a cop out?
dud your first couple lines to this really had
a depth i could appreciate..but that whole
nothingness was a whole lotta nothing lol jk..
but really though your words where really catchy
just didnt like the overuse of 'nothingness'

sup with all these short pieces..lol either way dude
keep posting

[Dkoi]

It was sort of a shot at a theory that we all came from nothing. Idk, heard it on the news, thought it was cool, lol. (I guess)

[JMS]

It did seem like a thought that didnt quite fully get thought out. Some expansion on it would be good i think. The start was good and i could definitely see the picture forming with that first line. Personally i enjoy lines like that. I understand repeating nothingness to give it more focus and a bolder look but i would have enjoyed a bit of meat in the middle. Obviously from reading the first line you can come up with some clever thoughts that will assist in creating a more definite atmosphere. I enjoyed it for what it was.

[Neruda II]

goddamn! i love the way this starts. the starving earth consuming itself. niiiiiice. i like the straightforwardness of the piece. right to the point. but like they said, it felt a bit rushed at the end. i would love for you to elaborate on this whole end. i know it's a short piece and maybe that's what you were aiming for but don't be afraid to expand.

also, welcome to our humble community of poets.

[Dkoi]

Thank you guys.

Also, thanks for the welcome. (Although I've used this site before, lol.)

[Dkoi]

Ok, thanks again everyone. I'll read some of your poems at some point today.