Axiom Children

[143]

Axiom Children

The Earth protects itself with the bones men gave for a territorial fight over something not theirs
Heirs to a thrown that is rented
Through destructive dementia created, the embers burn pimples on her face
I can hear trees cry from the agony

Some say it was all too simple to fondle with death's teat
Drinking the milk and ingesting the chaos
Planning the birthing of a bloodline that secretively reinvents outcomes
One that just played outside for the first time

Dodging errant fingernails discarded from shaving idealism from rebellious souls
I stand looking at its color
Shades of crimson mixed with innocent smiles and joyous memories
Degrading wills of survival

But I keep remembering peace as it was before
A technological bliss that socially calm the savages into a neon haze
Using the synergy of eclectic design and natural grace to fulfill dreams
Dreams that now run for cover, its clothing has been burned off

I can believe in the carelessness we've attained
The strengthening of insanity as a jaded vision of who we are
From this point I stand I yell at the heavens, cursing the gift of free thought
We are not equipped to handle freedom

As my watered eyes open I could see a shadowy figure of a woman
Not knowing her background she stands
Looking hard, I wonder what her silence look like.....

…...as she navigates a landscape of death and destruction
Hell’s Remarque’s desirable to collectors of doom
Soon, rulers will celebrate their victory
While anonymous soldiers, bent in battlefield
Painted perfectly like oil on canvas
Become War Art
An instrument of propaganda
Onlookers to the scene, like me
Respond to her powerful inner urges
To take her blank stare off the linear panoramic
of documented conflict and gore
Instead, her sequential gaze persists
And I realize that silence is the loudest sound
And looks exactly like this
Wild animals, feasting on the dead
Rhythmic, smooth
Melting flesh while cheekbones protrude
Harmoniously working through
Blown pieces of body, shell fragments
Screaming horses and cherubs
The un-dead cry in A Capella
Their future sank like stones
She is alienated in a disconnected zone
Feelings serve no ornament
When the mantle holds their bones

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION 143,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

[Emily]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...thers!-Samajae
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...the-boy-memoir

[143]

The second verse is drop my the magnificent Emilyinthepool


Another I.P. collab...

[Emily]

It was brought to my attention that it's a little hard to distinguish which part belongs to 143 and which one is mine.
So.. to clear things up...

The Earth protects itself with the bones men gave for a territorial fight over something not theirs
Heirs to a thrown that is rented
Through destructive dementia created, the embers burn pimples on her face
I can hear trees cry from the agony

Some say it was all too simple to fondle with death's teat
Drinking the milk and ingesting the chaos
Planning the birthing of a bloodline that secretively reinvents outcomes
One that just played outside for the first time

Dodging errant fingernails discarded from shaving idealism from rebellious souls
I stand looking at its color
Shades of crimson mixed with innocent smiles and joyous memories
Degrading wills of survival

But I keep remembering peace as it was before
A technological bliss that socially calm the savages into a neon haze
Using the synergy of eclectic design and natural grace to fulfill dreams
Dreams that now run for cover, its clothing has been burned off

I can believe in the carelessness we've attained
The strengthening of insanity as a jaded vision of who we are
From this point I stand I yell at the heavens, cursing the gift of free thought
We are not equipped to handle freedom

As my watered eyes open I could see a shadowy figure of a woman
Not knowing her background she stands
Looking hard, I wonder what her silence look like.....

^^^^^^^ 143




vvvvvvvvvv Emilyinthepool

…...as she navigates a landscape of death and destruction
Hell’s Remarque’s desirable to collectors of doom
Soon, rulers will celebrate their victory
While anonymous soldiers, bent in battlefield
Painted perfectly like oil on canvas
Become War Art
An instrument of propaganda
Onlookers to the scene, like me
Respond to her powerful inner urges
To take her blank stare off the linear panoramic
of documented conflict and gore
Instead, her sequential gaze persists
And I realize that silence is the loudest sound
And looks exactly like this
Wild animals, feasting on the dead
Rhythmic, smooth
Melting flesh while cheekbones protrude
Harmoniously working through
Blown pieces of body, shell fragments
Screaming horses and cherubs
The un-dead cry in A Capella
Their future sank like stones
She is alienated in a disconnected zone
Feelings serve no ornament
When the mantle holds their bones

[Soule]

Vote Emily.

[143]

Bump

[Oxymoron]

Had to go google axiom, okay now thats out of the way, i can get to reading.

okay first of all. I interpreted this as war, world war and the aftermath. 143 being more the bringer of war, the happening, Emily being the thereafter.

The Earth protects itself with the bones men gave for a territorial fight over something not theirs
Heirs to a thrown that is rented
Through destructive dementia created, the embers burn pimples on her face
I can hear trees cry from the agony

I thought this was a cool way to start off, describing the scene, I can see layers of bones wrapping around the earth fighting for no reason, destroying what was previously there. Very cool description of that.

Some say it was all too simple to fondle with death's teat
Drinking the milk and ingesting the chaos
Planning the birthing of a bloodline that secretively reinvents outcomes
One that just played outside for the first time

smiled at the first line. I liked how you had a mother of death theme going on by mentioning breasts. Also other womanly traits to paint a picture of here up until the crowing.

Dodging errant fingernails discarded from shaving idealism from rebellious souls
I stand looking at its color
Shades of crimson mixed with innocent smiles and joyous memories
Degrading wills of survival

I can see you growing up trying to ward off the idealisms. I like how this is open and anyone can interpret the idealisms as they please. So yeah i said trying, but you end up taking in the information anyway, subliminily. Degrading wills of survival was cool way to end this, conditioning us to be stupid.

But I keep remembering peace as it was before
A technological bliss that socially calm the savages into a neon haze
Using the synergy of eclectic design and natural grace to fulfill dreams
Dreams that now run for cover, its clothing has been burned off

A paragraph on reminising, i like how you think back on the way it used to be, and how youd like it to be.

I can believe in
the carelessness we've attained
The strengthening of insanity as a jaded vision of who we are
From this point I stand I yell at the heavens, cursing the gift of free thought
We are not equipped to handle freedom

The agression picks up, i can feel that. I see you enraged and dissapointed at what we are as a human race. the piece is starting to look away from the whole picture in the first paragraph to the journey of ones self and his connection to living entitys. Good energy.

As my watered eyes open I could see a shadowy figure of a woman
Not knowing her background she stands
Looking hard, I wonder what her silence look like.....

Ok cool introduction to the next poet, sad but opening your eyes gives you hope, who is this standing infront of me. I must say though, that last bit, look like or looked? look like seems out of place to me. other than that, Was liking how you broke the paragraphs down into little sections telling your story of becoming aware and enlightened, i thought it worked well.

…...as she navigates a landscape of death and destruction
Hell’s Remarque’s desirable to collectors of doom

First off i liked the word navigate.. i sense she is coming in from somewhere not from land. I see a book collecter metaphor but also as a collecter of hellish quotes. Not bad, pretty gloomy words, i can feel the vibe.

Soon, rulers will celebrate their victory
While anonymous soldiers, bent in battlefield
Painted perfectly like oil on canvas
Become War Art

hmm i got to say this was ok, but a little straight foward, kind of lost me with the moving to to become war art bit. Advertising? Maybe im thinking too deep into it..

An instrument of propaganda
Onlookers to the scene, like me
Respond to her powerful inner urges
To take her blank stare off the linear panoramic
of documented conflict and gore

hmm now if youre looking at war just as war, its a bit vague. But i quite like it when i interpret it in my own way..
so, if you were talking about advertising being the properganda, n well its advertising to me... you feel you want to not be sublimininally messaged by bullshit.. But them bastards are good...

Instead, her sequential gaze persists
And I realize that silence is the loudest sound

ahh, i like this, cant stop looking even though you want too it just happens..Then being by yourself is the best option. I also think if you removed and it would flow better. Reading it with a slight period.

And looks exactly like this
Wild animals, feasting on the dead
Rhythmic, smooth
Melting flesh while cheekbones protrude
Harmoniously working through
Blown pieces of body, shell fragments
Screaming horses and cherubs
The un-dead cry in A Capella
Their future sank like stones
She is alienated in a disconnected zone
Feelings serve no ornament
When the mantle holds their bones

Now im not going to break this down because i thought this bit was sweet. an interesting description of what she sees. Tempo picked up rhyming was pretty cool. cool vocab. Digging this bit the most i think. The vibe could use a little more animosity, in the vocab, but nah this was cool.


Cool read guys. Well 143 is the more polished writer. But Emily still came with an all good piece. She felt a little vague at times. But that last bit i found to be quite entising and fun to read.

Good work guys.

also, lol i assumed there was some good feed on this one already, and then, nup, its you guys, ha.

oh and as a visual artist, i personally didnt get too much out of the images. The top one was alright, but personally my mind eye view of the battle field was better. heh

[143]

Man thank you for the feed