Walking

[Ctrl Alt Elite]

I like to go on adventures,
through sprawling forests.
Where the sun light dances in the leaves
giving life to the trees through which it weaves.
And the sky is concealed
by a canopy of butterflies and birdsong
and the crisp air fills my lungs
free of the city smog.

My rural metropolis.

[Upgrade]

I enjoyed this, made me smile as I read it. The imagery was great! I pictured everything as I read it, only thing I didn't like and well only word I didn't like really was concealed. I feel like this was a happy little piece and you were throwing butterflies and sunlight and to me concealed has a sort of dark cannotation. As soon as I read that word I thought darkness which erased everything before it. I may be overanalyzing but I don't want to give you some pc feedback I want you to know exactly what I felt. After reading it a 3rd and 4th time and accepting that, that wasn't what you meant I was able to put it all together. I enjoyed this, feels like you came to PC and posted a painting with words. Keep it up.

[TheIllyricist]

I like to go on adventures,
through sprawling forests.
Where the sun light dances in the leaves
giving life to the trees through which it weaves.

First, I love simple titles. Simple titles can lead to so much more, especially when the content explodes with life. Two, simplicity within the text itself. No trying to impress me, at least that's how I felt. Beautiful, gorgeous imagery. You don't rhyme much, but leaves and weaves flowed effortlessly off the tongue. I enjoyed that being in there, like a semblance of a melody within the lively confines of the forest. Green, full of life, thrumming with the sounds of the birds. It's a place of its own, beating with a heart not completely separated from our own.

And the sky is concealed
by a canopy of butterflies and birdsong
and the crisp air fills my lungs
free of the city smog.

There's them birdsongs I was talking about. The usage of canopy is something I liked. Crisp air. Untainted, unpoisoned with the toxins of industrial labor. Free of people, free of manufactured things. Just you and nature. In your natural habitat to be truthful, because it is.

My rural metropolis.

Echoing that sentiment. Your rural city, your home, your true home. Where things live in nature, free. No laws. No rights. Just primal instinct and peace (for the most part). Strong single sentence ending here.

Another good read. I quite like walking too.

[Emily]

I like to go on adventures,
through sprawling forests.
Where the sun light dances in the leaves All of this is nice but it's this sentence here that throws me into the adventure of your walk. It's because of your descriptions here. And all it took was a little sunlight tango with the leaves. Beautiful.
giving life to the trees through which it weaves. Nice spot of rhyme, not too much, just a touch. Lovely.
And the sky is concealed
by a canopy of butterflies and birdsong Canopy is good here. It covers it all, literally. The imagery of prettiness stays alive and flutters.
and the crisp air fills my lungs
free of the city smog. And I sensed the full stop. Not just because you had it here, I sensed it with your wording. It was cemented.
Great pace and tone to the piece.

My rural metropolis. This line is the star of the show, imo. It's a great line. Finishes off everything with a nice polish and shine.


Nice little poem Ctrl Alt Elite.
Crisp pictures in wording.


Thank you for the read.