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Thread: A Disciple's Thread

  1. #1096
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    im 38,
    i just moved in with my parents i hope to inherit their house, i got enough money to buy a cabin or wait to split the house with my two sisters when my parents pass.. i am trying to get a cabin to live in out the back so i dont even have to live in the house until and if that happens.. my sisters both rent outside the family..
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  2. #1097
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Nah like we don’t want to discuss “get your az in the trunk” … I’m not going to condone or glorify past crimes AT ALL… he know he fucked up too and as a result we on the slow plan but we will we get there too cause like especially what will happen to me if he go again? You know… and I love that he respects that. Need to figure out the most positive of messages but I’m not going to lie I’ve been blessed since he been back. Baby steps… cause yeah my bf has another gf too. Like no disrespect but it would be like take a poll is it fucked up of me?

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    You really waiting on your parents to die? That’s so fucked up!!!

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    I’m 44 and live with my mom and step dad too… but cause of my bipolar and things that have happened I can’t and won’t live alone again.

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    My sister said you lose them the same way you get them… but he different and I believe him

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    I like the pic… when I was a teen I’d be driving and thought I’d hear dwoop dwoop behind me and look… but it used to be the music

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    I used to get pulled a lot and searched all the time to the point they stopped searching me. I was always clean…

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    Nah the bowing again part in that other piece ready or not sound Manson like groupie… I didn’t mean it like that… and I pray it’s not a switch like that. I was in juvi at 13… he understands me like a saint now - that’s what it feels like

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    I was VERY successful especually considering I came from “at risk” and I NEED for me to be successful again

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    My job defined who I was when I lost it I lost me too
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  3. #1098
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    my mum has bi-polar
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  4. #1099
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

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  5. #1100
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Not me but proceed with caution for real…

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    @Candy give her a hug bipolar 1 fucking SUCKSSSSS

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    If it makes you feel better I think I figured out that they legal LoL

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    You know what’s really funny though? Like all them crazy outbursts to this or that and then to realize some of them actually made sense

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    I don’t owe the ski masks or him money… yeah I dumped but like I paid it back by paying it forward… ran thru like 30k and co-signed his ac… DEBT PAID IN FULL and I been out and over it all…

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    Do you like or hate me?

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    “You better pick a side… nickels is side hopping”

    I caught tongues that night Chris was murdered (pacs side) and then I figured out which was the 20s down south (bigs side)… who am I running against though?

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    My sister said I just kept saying snake rat gun over and over again… it was my first time seeing slow mo

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    The second time I saw slow mo I was in my truck and my bf was outside the club next to it talking to like 10 of his boys… so I saw the slow mo and sat up quick and there was this red car with tinted windows and the window rolled down almost half way and I saw the barrel of a gun peep out so I screamed and my bf and his boys all immediately ducked the car took off! And we all lived to see another day… idk if my ex believed me then but I’m pretty sure he believe me now!

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    My bf now… yeah the Hail Mary piece… it was him I was toe to toe with… like looking back now I believe fate changed that night. But God and my angels wouldn’t let me forget him. 25 years and he made it… and I hate that god still tests his patience almost every day. I would never let him get caught up in anything that could cause him to go back to jail… even he know… what would happen to me again too? You know? … and like I thought he only got 5 years and something told me to look him up and he was still in there I was like wtf and wrote him with my crazy shit and he was the cutest for real… he has a great heart just like me too. It cracks me up that he’s the angel!

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    You ever drive thru waterbury… we got the same exact cross up! You can see it from the highway if you ever drive thru on the way to the casino.

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    You know I trust pac more than you… right?

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    But I’m sure I only see pac so much on the strength of you too…

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    “Bullets to my nuts only made my balls fatter” LMFAO… for real though!!! Like when I took that pic of the green dot on my forehead smh…

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    My sister usually GI Jane… not me but “don’t you ever try to take control of my soul”

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    When the feds got on here I was worried about what some of the people I liked was writing about… or people I collared with and such and they still not back… if you not out of statutes you can’t write it though and not everyone is blessed with that knowledge - I hope my boy is ok

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    I jumped off cause of my old friends and what they were into… it wasn’t until after that I truly realized them bitches weren’t my friends at all ��

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    And I learned that whether or not you forgive people is none of their business… it doesn’t mean you go back for more

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    Will you help us? Neither one of us have a 401k or retirement savings yet…

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    I cashed mine in to payback the ski masks forward

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    I don’t remember what he said specifically that I knew he was involved

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    I’m going to school for hair and cosmetology… I don’t need my cognitive skills for that… I tried to work my way back to corporate and had to accept I can’t… I’m not built like that no more… I’m not as quick with it or as sharp anymore

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    I can still glide thru a “fire drill” though…

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    The drs said every break does more brain damage… so like the 9 in one year just fried me for real… it’s not like a retardation though just my memory suck, I get lost in thought easy, lose my car, get lost, can’t focus or concentrate too long, computers make me mad now where I used to love them… stuff like that! After the interview that I fucked up a copy and paste I asked myself why I keep doing that to myself… trying just to be humiliated I can’t do stuff like that anymore

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    Disability just assholes… they refuse to give me the insurance I paid into since the day I turned 16

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    I want to sue for my civil rites… but fuck them that’s not ever going to happen

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    My drs don’t understand why they won’t give it to me either. AND I haven’t had a dirty urine since 2017 so they can’t say that either…

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    I’m glad I decided to go back for hair… it was what I was gonna do before I aced that computer test and got into IBM

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    Anyways…
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  6. #1101
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    i def like
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  7. #1102
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread



    When I listen to music it always takes me back to them days… I don’t know which is better or not! But what I have learned is most any of them in it never even got the choice. I was in my Saturn sky at a stop light and was listening to Paul wall sitting sideways and I looked down and I was sitting sideways in my seat and I started crying because I felt like the fakest bitch in the world! Far removed from working my way up from restricted to level 5… like… it was hard to balance but that’s not why I snapped!

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    @Candy what you like? I’m just rambling thinking out loud. What you up to?
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  8. #1103
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    cooking wedges and love lifes its a good day today

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  9. #1104
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Happy thanksgiving… I should probably try to go to bed. It’s my moms bday too! ��

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    @Candy love that song!!!

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    What really confused me is I have NO CLUE how I know all the words to Dirty Nusery Rhymes or how I got that bulls hat… it’s dead wrong

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    I had to accept that I’ll probably never get answers and I have to wait for God to tell me

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    In the meanwhile the world doesn’t stop turning and I had to get back up and put one foot in front of the other again regardless

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    You come from heart though… I at least know enough to tell you that

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    Nite @Candy

    If there is one thing I would want my child to know if I have one is “your shadow never leaves you in the dark” you just can’t see them… kinda like that footprints poem
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  10. #1105
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    goodnight xoxo
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  11. #1106
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread



    Who am I now?

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    The first time I heard that chord “bitch I’m the man” I flashed back to my assault in myrtle beach in 2010 and kicking him in the face on the switch and getting away…

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    I don’t remember hardly anything from it…
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  12. #1107
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    BUT I can walk to the exact spot we watched the fireworks from… that was north myrtle beach too 1990 I think… and that’s why I was so mad they hit me there cause I feel they did it on purpose… you know?

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    And I didn’t even remember yet so who knew?

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    You know?

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    I used to be entangled with drugs cause I was running but pac made damn sure “I ain’t have to incorporate yay in my business” … and would warn me anytime I even came close to going back

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    What even cuter is my bf nick name TI… he said I can talk on here but no names… idk if that count though

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    @Candy in Australia do you guys have holidays that we don’t celebrate? Like holidays only your country celebrate?

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    It’s thanksgiving in the US today…

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    And don’t say that I’m obviously A DISCIPLE… NOT escabar

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    It means student…

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    I never piped down south or to down south though… NY/CT only

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    When I get really upset I still go to the graveyard and talk to to Chris <3 … maybe cause I felt him lift and know he with God. DB police never gave me a problem going there at night! I appreciate that much! But like… that night my entire world just changed and I’m a always go back to all eyes and the angels when I get confused… you know?

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    When I was in the “game” … the only game I knew or referred to anyway

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    It’s why to this day I have a love/hate relationship with Jay Zs music (he def won my respect though)

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    My ex boyfriend… the one I was with on and off since I was 16. His baby mom was a cop… so I just lived expecting shit like that. Especially when he accused me of putting a message he left me on her machine. It wasn’t me I didn’t do it but I always knew they were watching. Especially when I did get arrested for fighting and I couldn’t pee for like 5 hours cause there was no female cop. Finally a cool officer asked if I minded peeing in a cell on camera and I said no…

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    Sorry… his babies moms MOM*

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    They used to huddle outside my house in the parking lot sometimes and when I got scared I’d just put it in the grill outside… anybody could’ve done that. As I grew up I learned if they coming you most likely not even gonna see them…

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    Where did my piece go that I wrote to this anyway? Do you know the shake I had to fight to even write it… smh
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  13. #1108
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread



    I love this song… for several reasons. I did lose my heart to another. My bf has a gf and I stay because it’s my own fault. I stopped writing him in jail because he didn’t get paroled and that meant 3 more years and I was already in my late 30s and wanted a baby and couldn’t wait. … I didn’t even get pregnant anyway! But he forgave me and understood… but in the meanwhile how can I hate on the one that did hold him down and idk what to do to be honest… just taking things day by day and see how things work out. The entire situation just sucks though… I wrote about him and us a few times… say goodbye, Hail Mary, ready or not, over and over, big purr etc. in my defense I was with him first </3

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    Am I wrong though?
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  14. #1109
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I love all eyes and most souls… like when you go crazy and say things you can’t help and stuff it makes me feel better. Like the time I called this cutie Cahz I met but was sick and told him I’m drilling ones… it was humiliating but now and stuff like this make me so I can laugh about it now
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

  15. #1110
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I laugh at went off the grid too… I put my Nextel in my front bushes and then left to go knock my ex… we laugh our assets off about it now

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    Who ever stopped it… thank you!!!

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    I heard him laughing in the background off the 222 TEXT I got in 2004 or 05… when my head burned off and was VEXED!!! He still harbor the bitch though…

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    I called back and it was a creepy man telling a story about a girl with 3 options etc all ending in death I think

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    Nah who ever stopped what was going on and me getting hit since like 2014 I think was the year

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    Since the 3 muffled bangs…

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    We stopped me almost killing him cause he came to my eye and gave me a speech I needed to hear

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    I worked A LOT on my temper since cause I didn’t think it would ever go that far… it scared me too

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    Yes me and my bf was already on a weird level before he even went in…. But several things he says to me I know for facts like. My old friends wanna be the entire story when they weren’t even up in it to begin with but he saw the pic of her and like that’s an evil bitch right there… I wish I knew that prior for real!!!!! But… you’ll see and such if they demand to be here too
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
    “I know you don’t love me… you ain’t the same when 50 cent in town. Got me fucked up with the g unit click try to run game on me you punk bitch” ~ 240 Bars

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