A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

Yeah I have to study more I know but I just refuse to lay down and die again and learning how to be strong and not forgive people or make excuses for them anymore

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Lemon Amonia

I used to love to clean and that’s when I’m right
I used to diss a feen… but now I fight
Someone did say that they smelled pee
But I think it’s some wolf and that’s not where I want to be


The end

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Just get off me… fuck what you heard you had no right

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@Candy I gave my mom all my weed today and told her I’m a try

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I can’t stand them in my body and they refuse to stop or leave

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Like I just died again and I’m the wack bitch?

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I’m pretty sure the circle that kept me safe was actually Nas… but nah I don’t know and am confused and feel stupid and embarrassed and punked and like…

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What makes me so mad… all anyone had to do was tell me and we would’ve solved it

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But they not gonna make me feel like lives were taken cause of me either

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People talking like they can’t trust me? Are you even fucking serious

[Candy]

spekt i gave my mum all my codean and valium

said the same thing..

verse is up

lemon amonia

ore is it/ironed out panties

crisp almost fresh by the breath, steam off the porcelain
porcupine pinebox woodchips, a chip off the shoulder with with boulders as big as morgues morphine
s-mores and mumble, the birds the bees and a kissing tree

if only i had ten minutes with this queen what i would give to be her missing one day missing me..

the end

[A Disciple]

People talking like they can’t trust me? Are you even fucking serious

I’m worried about my fave now too… I ain’t psychic but I don’t like how it’s looking either

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They tell me not to pray or worry about other people… but that’s just how I do

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Yo that bitch twisted him out again

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I shouldn’t have to be married to make money… they just refuse to let me

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Nah I don’t do pills either… just sniff coke… the same exact thing I did when I met him. And he expect me to change? Nah God… it ain’t him either

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Not… lll date again… but I’m not putting my heart in it again

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The hardest of hearts, the hand that’s been showing
Now I don’t claim to be knowing
LOVE, the same love we both seek of
Turning each other out game after game
Both of us should be hanging our heads in shame
When hurt, we shut down, not realizing when real come back round
We hurt real, then real then hurt too
The reverse touche come back around on you
Real gonna scratch her nails down his back praying that you feel it
While hurt gonna go in and go in, he praying his heart you just steal it

But it’s too late…

But in the end, no one wins
We both left with feeling of sins
Then comes the debate
The hate
The sat-ism
Cause I’m afraid to go through that pain again too
ICE cold, I become, the same thing that I was always so jealous of you
Then you find it was all just an act
How you sit back and not react
And so it go… until real recognize real again
Only real can’t steal what real just cannot feel
So she turns and retreats regretfully
So you try to rearrange the damage that’s been done
And you find that special one
Only he? He’s done
What’s there left to do but run

Cause I’m afraid… And it’s too late

Now I make love with cold stares while rolling my eyes whispering sweet nothings
Love don’t live here no more, anymore, ever again but at least my heart no longer stings
Realizing I can’t get real and true without bringing someone else that hurt too
So cold as ICE I lay back, open my legs, as I take off my shirt
I stare at the ceiling and look to God as he slowly insert
Trying hard not to cry, knowing I probably just lost my last allibi
So I pretend
Cause real still recognize real - but real just ain’t no longer a friend
And I pray and I pray and I pray for it all just to end
And I don’t expect you to comprehend
And I don’t expect you to mend me
And I don’t expect you to really see
And I don’t expect love to ever be… again

And it’s just way too late to apologize… PIMPS

Is it his fault too… or was I just bugging thinking mines was finally here… and if he was mines is that why? It feels like my entire life been wasted too…

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I knew he didn’t love or understand the thot and I should’ve left then

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Just trying to figure out how the crazy bitch lived for everything she never got

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I ain’t scared of reincarnation pac… maybe I do if better next time

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I’ll ice pick the mother fucker that try to come in to save the day too

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I’m tired of falling into shit and being so dumb every time

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Nah with my ex where it all got fucked up to begin with… I stayed to my 3

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A hoe or a whore is something I’d never be… but I don’t judge them either and understand

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Ruby and Desire… is that really who thought they’d kick my ass?

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I did try to tell him I was the thot from day one but could t spit it out cause I didn’t want to lose that peace and comfort and like

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I wish we did this in the first month but then again I’m too old to have babies now so it doesn’t even matter

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Was he that important to me?

[Candy]

the slumber party dances, the spring water brings autumn
the slaughter house cord recoils her finger around poorpers fortune is how my clitoris feels
cautioned in panties by its moisture sexual by cotton black until the shades mute naughty to its coffin "still"
awesome
the treacle tinkles from tinker bells rape whistle from sodom so solem
ickky but yet the calm is a calamity like llife itself warm - docile
and much like my asshole in the panties "wholesome"
i smell like cuttlefish in need of a cuddle
a puddle of yuck waiting for the vomit to untangle my panties from my fefe thats clearly a puzzle
soo my unanswered questions - so many things of nature deemed taboo..

from jasmine we wear to the apu inside all of you - ha when it is all of you
from stench of your shit smelling like poop
to foreign tongues of comments that leave you abused

life in all its glamour - the fbi aligned with the elite
a governed body a water to sweet to suckle on its own teet
to fall to sleep
by the kingdom its heart beats
new york new york
sleep well in your basinet baby blue eye bunting a,..: queen of all sorts

only you can grow as the flower from the concret once you know where your petals were bruised before broke

[A Disciple]

Cause the zebra club.. the stripper was the one to convince me to pick up ced… I didn’t want to

[Candy]

dope verse so far

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Cause the zebra club.. the stripper was the one to convince me to pick up ced… I didn’t want to

dang

[A Disciple]

He was my day 2 and even though he ain’t say he gave
E the strength to take a shower and I left the DNA… do you know how many times I had who? And like they really don’t know nothing about that

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Exhale… that’s how I fell into it… it felt so comfort and peace that I could die in his arms end be fine

[Candy]

[A Disciple]

Idk who or why he switched up on me too

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Thanks @Candy it’s making me feel better. You know my old friend got biggies sticker on her bumper

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She got cancer and I’m trying to cure that too… the realest bitch I ever met and I don’t want to lose her too

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Yo.: I ain’t ever have secret thoughts and my dad felt it was unfair I was clear like glass too

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And he dead and took it to the grave for them… fuck all that never

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Been there before… and proved I’m not the one guilty

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Like French said but they won’t bring me back to ghosts

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Don’t play with me about my daughter cause that’s the slice I go for… it’s fucked up and I need to know

[Candy]

respect.. lol no problem i love hcatten with you we been like this for a year hehe

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[A Disciple]

Yooooo… why won’t he just leave me alone and stop making me sick. I told my man too and he didn’t give a fuck and helped him too… wtf ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT ME?

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I refuse and rather die then be posed

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When the fuck they gonna realize I’m not the one tearing it all down

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I remember… he called 5 0 instead of picking me up

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My maybe baby dads just might br a snitch but he wasn’t into my that much either… I know that but you all don’t have to rub it in

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But it’s never fuck me and fuck you too… just want to be alone a minute

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And not judged

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Nah I ain’t ever snitch

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What a horrible day I’m just gonna go back to bed

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Idk after losing my job again idk what to think… tired of not making money and paying my own bills again for real… my mom did teach me to stack money just in case but I couldn’t

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Back to this shit again…

[Candy]

[A Disciple]

I’m not a toy or experiment

[Candy]

yeh i gave my dad my smokes so i split the medication scripted with mum and the other dad

[A Disciple]

They not gonna free me until they get the answer they want… fuck all that I rather die then give them that

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Nope… don’t smoke the shit either… gonna try to sleep

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I can’t believe my father took it to the grave

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I realize they half the country but in my one life… NOBODY telling me what I’m gonna do with it

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I wish k died when they shot me…maybe then I’d know if I have a daughter or not