A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

Lost my boy last night… I was best friends with his step sister a lot of years and we all grew up together. Car accident… just like how his dad died who was like a father to me. I didn’t feel it… I didn’t notice… just checking fb and heard. Someone so instrumental to me and my beliefs too. I hate gin but I’m a have a tang and juice for him later or tomorrow. Just craziness and I’m real sad for his family… him and his wife been together since they were like 15… I can’t imagine what she going thru right now!

Ming

My heart is heavy though i haven’t shed a tear yet
But we not gonna see another year yet
Memories of CREAM playing at the bodega in queens
Died the same way as your dad…
Ain’t shit you can do when an angel intervenes
At least you got to see your dreams
Your kids will smile and thru them your face
Your wife will mourn a love since teens that can’t ever be replaced
And as I sit here now there is nothing good enough to say about you
I can’t believe your dead and I ain’t even have a clue
I used to call you Q tip cause of that first day we met
Your Puerto Rican fro and wild
To the tiniest frame that you set
Bet…
One day I will see you again
Cause you were like family more than a friend
And to all these wishes I send and condole
Don’t mistake another man’s March for another one’s role

I’m a miss you dawg…

[Emily]

@Emily I don’t see the message and sorry I’ve been traveling and missed my leagues this week

All good Disciple. SS has finished for now, not enough people to keep it going.
Good luck with haiku, its you and me this week sis.
Our topic is in our thread Disciple.

[A Disciple]

@Emily thank you I’m back for sacred scriptures when it starts up again…

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Creeper update: came home from ny and someone shit all in our toilet… I think it’s creeper and my step dad thinks maybe my step brother had an emergency and used it and didn’t flush. He doesn’t live with us and it will all probably be dismissed but I’m scared cause he’s getting worse. I doubt my parents will change the locks though…

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I have so much anger in me… if he ever does step… I might actually be the one to beat him down and tie him up though…

[Emily]

@Emily thank you I’m back for sacred scriptures when it starts up again…

Sounds good Disciple.

[A Disciple]

Keep it Moving (scarface)
Keep it Moving
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...3236EEBD8AED70


Love, there’s too many facets
Now I’m even more confused
That’s what coming in from the side gets
Don’t think I’d ever choose
You wanted that throat, I showed you it was you
Dreaming the whole time, then look what you do
Coming from parallel worlds, you right
How I get so ghetto?
That fight…
When my mom got slapped back to poor
Cause she left, she didn’t obey…
Oh believe me I know that you know
It makes me hate it even more everyday
Look at us now, how we all change places
Sitting in my car riding home thinking about all them faces
Knowing…
Who believes a black man about his plight
Especially when they see the girl sitting next to him is white

“Must not know who she’s dealing with… etc”
Let the chorus play

It can’t be right?

I know inside you have more love for her
But you never told me and I won’t assume what we were
The night of the concert you didn’t invite me to
Pacing all night, the next day I found that hairband too
If it wasn’t for when that time you finally slapped me
It was for the reasons I snatched them dishes and put them on the balcony
Like you said… who is schooling who
When he woke me up to give me a bite too
“You was really the realest I just think your pride is just”
Maybe in the reverse you see it was you
But you left me just standing there so confused by what you do
And when I fucked him, I felt them snap me out of the spell
So don’t pretend you don’t know how the snowflake fell
I can tell…
How am I supposed to trust you now?
Your eyes still be killing me
Like I don’t know you’re still walking… how?
I’m lucky still parts of you be feeling me

Let the chorus play

The slow mo… that’s how I saw the gun
And when I screamed and you all ducked
It was god that made them run
We got it done…
Ever think that is for all it was
Cause I always gain a new enemy for all that this does

I just wanna have fun

You always asking why I write so dark
That’s like asking a dog not to bark
But maybe that means you read a word or two
So one day I know you’ll read this one and realize the wish was for you
I take it back too

“I know my days are numbered… “ let the song play out.

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Nice preset…

[A Disciple]

I’m not trying to be an asshole or selfish but Ming’s dead the same way his dad did and he said wtf to the picture… I wouldn’t want Ming dead for nothing so who did? That’s what it feels like…

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It feels gross in my own body most times when they hit and like… I hope Ming will still be my angel and finally get this resolved once and for all… cause I’m being hit for a family that’s holding me up like their shield it feels like and then over there? Like… you scum sucking mother fucker I don’t bow to or listen to you I rather be dead any way. And Ming if that’s what’s up that’s cool too cause I’m tired and confused as fuck!!!!

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I’m not going to be threatened and bullied in my own body by some freak that’s claiming to be my god or dr

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Like who ever is demanding that is WAY out of line

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I’m a try to sleep… maybe watch tv

[A Disciple]

Let’s just solve this once and for all and his brother has skills

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I didn’t do shit but refuse to have anything to do with his step family but if that’s what’s up that’s dead wrong… I’m not gonna sit here and suffer for them bitches or be abused either and like

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Everything about this entire situation all around just dead wrong and I’m the one hit… like it’s all on me? Nah cause maybe if I knew how to and people weren’t blocking it just would’ve been a call and everything would’ve been fine and he’d still be here.

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CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

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I’m gonna try to sleep… like do you comprehend how gross it is to feel like them in your own body type mercy…

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I WANT TO BE MYSELF… not any bitch you want

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Just everything is horrible… and a nightmare… and humiliating

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I don’t want that life or world with strangers tugging at or tapping my body

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I’m going to try to sleep…

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I don’t want to hear his voice when I pray Ming… or any time… or feel like him or even have to think anything about the low level jerk for real

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Maybe someone on this earth will help and protect me

[A Disciple]

I just really feel stupid and like… I’m not living if I can’t defend and protect myself!!! Why they think they can tell me what I will or won’t do? I feel like the object of some game that does real shit to me and makes me sick as hell! and nobody even give a fuck!

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I write… that’s my gift and nobody on this fucking earth gonna take the last fucking string I have to support myself either! I didn’t need to see this… I didn’t need to go thru this and nah I don’t understand either! But no fucking prick is going to tell me what I live or die for either! I can’t be forced to live in this zone it makes me too sick - you wanna see my room right now? Or how I have to convince and motivate myself to even get ready for bed!!!

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I’m not going to sit here and squirm for NO ONE!!! And nah I’m not going to tolerate a gifted stalker who got on my body and uses it to abuse and threaten me

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You can’t sit there and demand to be my god

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If you can’t stand an innocent woman defending herself then maybe you need to find a man

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It’s 2022

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My side… and I didn’t even sign up for this shit either

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My throat… like

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It’s hell beyond belief and why every time I start to stand back up I’m hit for no reason again. The hours of pain every single night and held on to my job like a flaw. I’m not going to bed with ice packs every night cause some abuse a bitch stalker wanna try to train or breed a bitch.

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Nah… not like this. I refuse.

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I’m going to bed…

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If nobody cares that I’m being abused then WHO THE FUCK CARES IF IM SMOKING WEED AGAIN

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Even your priorities are twisted socio

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I’m not turning to or ever having anything to do with them bitches or family again. I got Mannys back though…

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ACCEPT NO AND LEAVE ME AND MY BODU ALONE FOR AN ANSWER

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WHO BLAMING WHO FOR WHAT?!!??? I didn’t even fucking know!!!!!

[Candy]

looking good sexy

hope you been well

[Emily]

You ok Disciple?
Let me know if I can help you mate

[A Disciple]

@EMILL y thanks for checking in… I just feel haunted and not like myself a lot lately… maybe just a change in my meds but I’m scared to do so cause they been keeping me out of mental along with writing and venting for a long time now. Believe me that’s the LAST place I want to be again. One of my old friends passed and that’s been fucking with my head too… he died just like his dad did - heart attack and then car accident. He was step family to my old best friends who are straight evil as fuck and when breaking ties to them I always said I’d stand by to the younger one - back then he was like a younger brother I never had. It’s just sad… and I kinda hate that the memories take me to the side of the family (my old friends) that disrespected me to a point of no return. Like I’ve never been so serious - I rather die then have to deal with them bitches EVER again!

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@Candy what you up to tonight? What time is it over there?

[A Disciple]

My step father is SO weird… I can’t find the pods to do my laundry! I know he probably think he’s helping and protecting us but it’s NOT! I just feel like everyone caught up in my shit and I’m not even like that or intended that… just trying to be me… just trying to break free! I just feel like nobody will tell me what the fuck is going on!

[Candy]

its 3am

just listening to



writen our verse

and bout to eat home made soup
watching movie clips for other guys movie and such

[Emily]

@EMILL y thanks for checking in… I just feel haunted and not like myself a lot lately… maybe just a change in my meds but I’m scared to do so cause they been keeping me out of mental along with writing and venting for a long time now. Believe me that’s the LAST place I want to be again. One of my old friends passed and that’s been fucking with my head too… he died just like his dad did - heart attack and then car accident. He was step family to my old best friends who are straight evil as fuck and when breaking ties to them I always said I’d stand by to the younger one - back then he was like a younger brother I never had. It’s just sad… and I kinda hate that the memories take me to the side of the family (my old friends) that disrespected me to a point of no return. Like I’ve never been so serious - I rather die then have to deal with them bitches EVER again!

I just saw this, didnt come up as a notification because my names in caps.
Just wanted to touch base.

[Candy]