A Disciple's Thread

[Candy]

thanks..
i loved going insane infact because i felt the same you are soo much freer..

im listening to queen of the damned soundtrack.. at the moment im influenced by atleast 5 artists on it..

the person who asked for my artist signature got a job at this art distributor called sanity then around that time he got to be an extra on the films set.. so i love it extra special

[A Disciple]

@nice … the only queen of the damned reference I know is Aaliyah - is she on it?

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@Candy but for me 90% of my insanity breaks was the scariest moments of my life… I can’t stand it

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Everytime I think I’m grateful for something here it comes back around… I was just saying how glad I am that I’m not throwing up every day with nothing coming out and then the past 2 days I have been again

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I have some haters and a curse on me like you wouldn’t believe

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Talking to my boy who just got out… if I make a million I’m a hit him off too… can you imagine literally growing up in jail? He holding it down though and he’s nice to me like you guys even though I’m crazy…

[Candy]

aaliyah there

[A Disciple]

@Candy cause they wouldn’t get off her either?

[Candy]

yeh peeps be in her ass like there no tomo..
but she is cool like missy..

[A Disciple]

@Candy I love Missy too…

[A Disciple]

So like I assume when my left side my heart side hurt it’s my pire and when the right side hurt it’s my babies? If it is my babies upset I wrote them back a lot too…

For My Unborn Child 2
I pray you never know the loss of a friend
Or the ones that are fake and just pretend
I pray you a heart to stick up for what is right
Even if that means an ass whooping in that fight
Never be afraid of a whisper in the night
Cause maybe that is God showing you the light
Fuck what the books written by man tells you
Would you be mad if a few religions I bestow you
Or just keep it catholic cause though I don’t agree
I can’t deny he’s always been there for me
And let me tell you now…
I want so bad for you too, to feel what its like when the angels carry you
But to put you in danger, do I have the courage to do?
I want you never to be scared if and when you look deep into his eyes
Cause people like us, sometimes we just recognize
And if you feel lost, just know these words are right here
No matter, what, no matter what, never you fear
Persevere
Sometimes life isn’t always what is seems
Never let them tell you, you can’t follow your dreams
You pick him out
He’s got to be real and he has to be strong
And he has to be able to admit when he’s wrong
Mommy is a little more than innocent
So he has to understand that when you are in bed some nights I wanna get bent
Family… that is one thing that is sooo important to me
And if possible, can I be the only babies mommy?
If not cool, because I know just what not to do by watching mine
In fact, mammy is a great role model too, she’ll show you the shine
I hope you have fun each and every day
Fuck those mother fuckers that say there is no time for play.
If I don’t ask, then please, please don’t tell
But you can always run to me if life feels like its got you under that spell
And if I ignore some shit, don’t act like that means that I don’t know
I hope we never but heads and to the realness we have to show
God I pray you are not a brat
I pray I always see the real you so I can change that
I hope your Daddy is such a man that is something for which you aspire to be
And he is just as dedicated to you, as I am, to our family.

And you don’t have to cry wolf
He’s here, he’s near you
This why I want you to know they should fear you
Revere you

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Then I hear Rakim talking about squeezing lungs and all the taps or tingles or sparkles or pain the dimples they come and I go back to normal and they hate and come again… I remember panther juice - they don’t sell it in the liquor stores anymore and I’m fine with that but what I’m not fine with is anybody but my pire and family on my body - when they gonna let me heal? New blood and they kicked my ass and told me exactly where to go but no I won’t… I’m not accepting it and I refuse to let them get away with it too… even on they swear I sould shit… hardly… I stood and he left me so what’s the problem? I don’t owe anybody but my moms a thing and for my own seeds or lost ones? I don’t mind training but get me in a zone correct. Nobody is going to make or demand I say disrespect to soul and my flesh is ok… it’s not! Someone kicked my ass up and down the east coast and still hitting. I’m just trying to tell them they had the wrong bitch to begin with - my old friends slick and smart and devious as all hell and I get that now. But don’t take greed over power and give me back mine… I have a Devine rite and instinct to protect myself and my young at all costs… I’m not worried about striking back - so what’s the problem?

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If I knew how to shoot in the dark I would’ve BEEN shot a long time ago…

[A Disciple]

He in my head… I’m not gonna lie

[A Disciple]

So the stalker made a google album in my account and named it Fuck you… first off all titles should be capitalized and read Fuck You. Second off… I would never ask my boy to hurt someone I can’t myself or risk going back to jail but to let you know I have people in places both in and out… like who are you and what ever made you decide to fuck with me any way?

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Got that new last name I was waiting on… and everything gonna work out just fine

[Candy]

RESPECT LOVE YOU

[A Disciple]

@Candy thank you... I love you too especially being you're the only one on this thread. LoL

I have a lot on my mind... like a guy hasn't gotten in my head for like 8 years. And now on an impossible? It just has me thinking a lot about the old days and never knowing what a bug in someones ear was and like... is that what went wrong? Was I serving too? I annoy myself how easy I can fall and everyone telling me to read books since no one wanna speak... I don't like reading like that. He said some slick shit like maybe I have to just learn how to adapt. But it's so outside myself, my personality, and nature I'm not sure I can. Up all night tossing and turning and getting tapped until 6am something again. Then nightmares about my father on top of it again. It just feels like they have mine and my families and loved ones life like an hour glass that's flips just at the end to return to their favor while we in hell. And that's all they do is tip and turn and burn, repeat. Maybe I'll analyze this week... but so far like almost everything in my favor. I even got my job back... and when he touched my hair I almost started snoring right there. Kinda like how my boy Magic can do too. I guess when you're normally used to babysitting it's just nice to calm down and relax. Not that I really ever realized I was but like I did realize my world was weird. Just trying to find more people that can relate...

[Candy]

glad you got your job back so you can live off more then $20

[Candy]

So like I assume when my left side my heart side hurt it’s my pire and when the right side hurt it’s my babies? If it is my babies upset I wrote them back a lot too…

For My Unborn Child 2
I pray you never know the loss of a friend
Or the ones that are fake and just pretend
I pray you a heart to stick up for what is right
Even if that means an ass whooping in that fight
Never be afraid of a whisper in the night
Cause maybe that is God showing you the light
Fuck what the books written by man tells you
Would you be mad if a few religions I bestow you
Or just keep it catholic cause though I don’t agree
I can’t deny he’s always been there for me
And let me tell you now…
I want so bad for you too, to feel what its like when the angels carry you
But to put you in danger, do I have the courage to do?
I want you never to be scared if and when you look deep into his eyes
Cause people like us, sometimes we just recognize
And if you feel lost, just know these words are right here
No matter, what, no matter what, never you fear
Persevere
Sometimes life isn’t always what is seems
Never let them tell you, you can’t follow your dreams
You pick him out
He’s got to be real and he has to be strong
And he has to be able to admit when he’s wrong
Mommy is a little more than innocent
So he has to understand that when you are in bed some nights I wanna get bent
Family… that is one thing that is sooo important to me
And if possible, can I be the only babies mommy?
If not cool, because I know just what not to do by watching mine
In fact, mammy is a great role model too, she’ll show you the shine
I hope you have fun each and every day
Fuck those mother fuckers that say there is no time for play.
If I don’t ask, then please, please don’t tell
But you can always run to me if life feels like its got you under that spell
And if I ignore some shit, don’t act like that means that I don’t know
I hope we never but heads and to the realness we have to show
God I pray you are not a brat
I pray I always see the real you so I can change that
I hope your Daddy is such a man that is something for which you aspire to be
And he is just as dedicated to you, as I am, to our family.

And you don’t have to cry wolf
He’s here, he’s near you
This why I want you to know they should fear you
Revere you

- - - Updated - - -

Then I hear Rakim talking about squeezing lungs and all the taps or tingles or sparkles or pain the dimples they come and I go back to normal and they hate and come again… I remember panther juice - they don’t sell it in the liquor stores anymore and I’m fine with that but what I’m not fine with is anybody but my pire and family on my body - when they gonna let me heal? New blood and they kicked my ass and told me exactly where to go but no I won’t… I’m not accepting it and I refuse to let them get away with it too… even on they swear I sould shit… hardly… I stood and he left me so what’s the problem? I don’t owe anybody but my moms a thing and for my own seeds or lost ones? I don’t mind training but get me in a zone correct. Nobody is going to make or demand I say disrespect to soul and my flesh is ok… it’s not! Someone kicked my ass up and down the east coast and still hitting. I’m just trying to tell them they had the wrong bitch to begin with - my old friends slick and smart and devious as all hell and I get that now. But don’t take greed over power and give me back mine… I have a Devine rite and instinct to protect myself and my young at all costs… I’m not worried about striking back - so what’s the problem?

- - - Updated - - -

If I knew how to shoot in the dark I would’ve BEEN shot a long time ago…

dope title get em girl

[A Disciple]

@Candy yeah maybe I can get balance and structure back in my life now... without getting knocked back down

[A Disciple]

It’s like things switched and I started to become insecure and like it projected… they say of the 2 men that come in your life one makes you anxious and excited and the other brings you calm and peace - he just brought me calm and peace like a couple days ago and then I sleep with him and now this shit… to be honest though… his sector and type and me never really saw eye to eye - they tend to like the down home girls and I’m a little too buji - like the time the other one I dated shook his head and laughed at my vajazzle! That type just never been that much into me besides my ex… and I do feel like I just wanna go home! It’s ok… we see what’s up tomorrow! But I’m fine either way… my ex went ballistic any how and he top seat any way!

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How the hell are you so inperfectly fine? I swear LoL