A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

Who was that?

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I did see that part… twins or just kin?

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Nah I assume twins impossible cause how white I am

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Just the connection is so strong…

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He’s everywhere for me especially in my darkest hours

[A Disciple]

If you tell me I’m even older I’m a be PISSED!!!! LoL panthers do real shit and believe me I get it… now I know why I was always surrounded… THANK YOU PAC

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Like why didn’t anyone just tell me though?

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I see why you wanted me to find love first… but at the same time I guess that’s why and nah I never really felt a connection like that. I wanna write… does anybody wanna buy the concepts and adjust and change the bar structure to suit them? I’m staying under cla919

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My first major was poli sci but when I found out the electorals vote any way they want regardless of popular vote I didn’t want anything to do with it and it almost broke my heart… I hate the topic now and don’t even watch the news anymore!!! LOL AND I failed out cause I went to alternative school and didn’t know how to study or learn in a class of 40+ and stuff

I almost kicked it to the guy sitting next to me at the table but I’m not that trick. He was a cutie though… I’ll be fine making money and finding a man at the same time. I’m learning all about people being phony now… AND finally undddstand all those comments they just jealous now too

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Just… why nobody ever told me?

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Telling everybody else but me though kinda made me a sitting duck

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I have a MAJOR math block since 3rd grade… it took me 3x to pass algebra when I was in college but when I did I got an A. I DESPISE NUMBERS AND MATH AND JUST CANT… I don’t usually have trouble budgeting my money though but in this zone I do

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Writing is my passion… that’s what I want to do

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I do it for free but to get paid too would be a dream

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Appetite suppressant just leave it alone for now please ���� I only lost 2 of the 4 I gained IN ONE WEEK trying and I can’t take the over the counter stuff cause it spins my bipolar worse and I get sick real easy… at least used to. I’ve chilled a lot and will continue to do so… one step at a time

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I know how everybody know my business through cause I’m just don’t do shit I can’t admit to

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Eventually I hope to get back to exercise and Zumba and belly dance… just every time I go to stand back up it gets harder and harder - I got so depressed I was like why should I even have to. Nobody else has to fight this hard

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Now that the bank hit my account for $550 and left me negative plus I don’t have any money any way… You act like that money was mine!!!!! But ok…

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Wish he was still alive so I can hug him but he’s still very much alive and active in my life any way…

[A Disciple]

My computer mouse got stuck in the corner and reminded me that I’m still being stalked and I got stuck on stupid and don’t feel well now again. It literally makes me glitch on a retarded… why are they allowed to do that to me?

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As well as kissing my own hands… I CANT FUCKING STAND IT

[A Disciple]

Nah like all these wack ass songs end up on my iPhone too?

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I’m tired as fuck!!! Then kissing my hands or hearing them when I pray it’s all abuse and they never even asked my permission. They really think I’m a ride with their family instead of both of mines?

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I don’t understand why that would make anyone mad though… you can’t just attach yourself and religion to any bitch you feel like… how do you guys protect yourselves cause I can’t figure out how to?

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I can’t sit home and stay in or “behave” for another’s woman’s man I’m sorry… especially if it takes losing people I love and have been there for me when no one else was too!

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You want to step it up a level PROVE IT!!! And just say it… he siding me again today any way and I’m good.

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I wouldn’t even care if it depends on their life to get off me… they didn’t even ask permission and I’m not going to suffer and feel gross for them. ESPECIALLY the rest of my life so like… if you took a risk and killed yourself you killed YOURSELF and I feel sorry for you selfish beyond comprehension asses too… SO

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Thatd be fucked up cause I’m not considering him again because I know she loves him. I believe love doesn’t hurt other people either even though I’m in my current situation lol… I don’t fucking know… we’re you trying to tell me you love and wanna be with her cause she does have that birthmark and it makes sense… if that’s what’s up that’s what’s up but I don’t understand how or why I deserve it

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Cause I got tapped at 4:30am and she got a text of a heart at the same exact time… I don’t have to sit around and watch it though

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AGAIN… but that’s your birthmark and if that’s your man even god agree and co signed it… what I learn from it idk at present time with the constant history for some reason it was written!

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I wanna be mean and ask which one you want… go for the top! But I’m not gonna start with best friend on assumption.

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Nah I still got your back I just don’t want to ever see you again if that’s what’s up… at least my kids grown now and I don’t have to!

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Right? Maybe have fun spending them all back? Who knows… it might can work!

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Girls supposed to be thicker than water and maybe I need to hate you… or walk away… who knows!

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THATS why they hate me!!!!!

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For a slice that thick… I know God would have even better plans for me…

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Did I ever spend somebody? Nah I was never in a position that I couldn’t hold my own before… and then ones who are kind and look out I appreciate the hell out of them and I will get them back

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That’d be perfect though… cause if I did jump and tag him and we are limited in tags maybe that means he tag you? Idk… but let’s see what’s up for real

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Oh I spend when I’m mad though… ced didn’t come home so I grabbed the $1200 he left on the toilet and went shopping!! EVERY fucking store was on sale and I was pissed cause I wanted to spend it all but cause there was so many sales I could only spend $300

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I was pissed and exhausted but felt vindicated though

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“Never loved no hoe” either…

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Nah you can’t wake me up and don’t even try give me a couple of days cause it doesn’t feel right

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He already warned me and I’m in a tight circle that we all pull on each other… check king

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Like this whole time you so mean to me and hate me?

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For what?!?!!?

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Nah I’d never co-sign that though but to be honest you really can’t though… they do I’m sure

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I don’t hate you and I’m scared for real though…

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When Anthony beat me up and took a pic of me crying and sent it to someone… just don’t tell me you!!!!

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Slick… but I been thru worse than you… you see that snake?

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Whose shoes? “You should’ve sided with the bitch in pajamas” but I’m not gonna fight with you on assumption either but scared for real

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We can talk tonight but I’m pretty sure I blasted out all the reasons why already and we safe… BUT… if you did do me dirty I deserve to know that too… and nah I’m not a snitch either never had to… evidentially I was raised by them

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Breathing… but I already have trust issues too

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I just laughed…

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Between the two of you all? I think I said it after though… would’ve been perfect if I got it out before you went!!!!! Do they extradite?

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I wanna say I can deport too… that’d be funny as hell though

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Nah I would never and not knowing feeling haunted worse so like get that accused prick out of NATIVE America and maybe then I can feel at peace and safe again.

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I do work like pac too… at least I used and trying to get the hang of this

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That pic IMPOSSIBLE and I can “shoot” on that…

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It would bring me peace and comfort if you extradite him cause I doubt they Polly off that - is that why he won’t go back? so it may be worth checking out if people are going to be abused and hurt… to be honest I don’t want to know I just want him gone!

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Nah… I swear to God I never even messed around with him. I knew he was your family or had to be involved almost immediately - you know that feminine bitch would blame you though too…

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Who else you got type shit?

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Nah I just think they hit us both the same night… Mary is my religion idk what your religion is or how we get along but

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Probably just like why they think we don’t sleep too… superstition but they’d do it I’m sure

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I think my mom is mad at me… I’ll ask her tomorrow…

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I know Allah is a real god I just believe in our version of Mary and Jesus too much.

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I would get it sanctioned like the polish American club type

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And throw back with the trash they have for witnesses with physcial evidence too… they’d say anything for less than $500 obviously why… and like I would so fucking crack up…

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Motive? Idk maybe cause your mean too!

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I don’t know why people hate and set up innocent people or shoot them but… I have 200 issues on my plate

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It didn’t click for a long long time and that’s an issue on the forefront

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Is that why he’s mad and hates me too? I saw…

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When G got a ticket or arrested I was like huh and did start to get suspicious… entrapment cause like that new you don’t need a warrant 9/11 law doesn’t cover all that… do you guys get paid per arrest or something?

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Like why you set up innocent people that only did it cause you asked and them and arrest them for it? That’s creating more criminals though… there’s plenty already

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It only took those split seconds and a lot finally clicked

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“Rest In Peace to the pac” oh well if that’s what’s up too cause I’m kinda exhausted

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Just say a name right? … nope … I’m not that stupid either. We in it together for the long run right? Fun!! Peace and comfort and fun!!!! MONEY!!!! Healing… no more betrayal coming from ANYWHERE cause I can’t take that anymore!

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I sell you every last thing to do what ever you want with when ever you want for $14.3m. And I want my friends that stayed loyal paid to… like maybe $2m each too… if you all can redesign my favorite church I think you could afford that!

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I know and I know now we all have to get along and that was funny too!!!! No more drama around me anymore or feeling like something my fault when I had nothing to do with it either

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Nah even if in the worst case scenario I can’t kill you but you can’t hurt me for fun either

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We just get away and stay away from each other… that’s all

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I saw and ok… I wouldn’t do you like that

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I’m not stupid I been done known and seen all that… that’s why I say yeah rolling my eyes and shit… I just need to think and I feel he just playing against me

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That’s my day 1 though… on a day 3 cause my original day ones or twos

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3 in a week? Nah that’s not me either or at least in a long time (“do it out of tempo I get you”)

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Not at all… just at once… cause they never seen me normal or at least haven’t in a while

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They only on me cause they see I may go to someone else… they never cared before though

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It’s like you all act like my dad and act like love can be with anybody… then you throwing all the craft and it’s going thru here or there and like… I’m just looking for real

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Who wanna talk to who about patience? It doesn’t matter it’s going to take me at least 10 years before I trust them enough to make another promise to God…

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I ALWAYS discredit him and scared im a do it again and if that’s the case he don’t even mean it!!! But I love him and his family and wouldn’t let him go either. And more like I loved him more than he loved me… but I know they made him leave when he smacked me

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It was fake that got the realest…

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Nah it never clicked but that “everything that glitters isn’t gold comment” always stayed with me… or why he wanted to take the condom off when we were broke up and not together

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That reminds me of him when I he left I was like what the fuck out of no where but in defense I did take all our dishes and silverware and put them on the porch

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He left me*

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I think freeway was in the deck…

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Nah I didn’t know I had kids to be hungry but laughed when he said snatch the dishes out the kitchen… I just didn’t get it

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How you have kids and not know it?

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The two sides is fine and I laughed when he said now we got this new guy. FACTS… I don’t hang on to much but what I do keep hold of please respect it’s usually for the right reason. Don’t put us against each other…

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Why am I pacing?

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Cause if it’s gonna be like this or that maybe I just am better off going to my ex house…

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Was that guy in power? The old white one… I’d probably be like what the fuck ever type marriage too not that just that way should could care less… I don’t want that either but maybe it work idk

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JUST THE WAY SHE COULD CARE LESS*

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I personally and literally said your name to 2 people type ish and never nothing about that…

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Time to bust some of these lies and wtf you listen to what other people say for any way?

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I would give you the example of telephone that I learned in 2nd grade… line up your kids whisper a secret to the first kid in line and write it down… tell them to whisper to the next kid the sentence and the next so on you only need like 5 and then have the last kid scream out the sentence. Everyone put their own version on how they interpreted it and look how it all came out!

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They were even splicing audio…

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Ask me… I will personally tell you if it was me or what is up!!!

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I would say trust Em cause I was looking at the pink and chocolate diamonds in the catalog in the ER Room… I think it works and at least all us are safe any way but not even you is going to make me bow to them or have anything to do with them ever again!!!!

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I would say trust Em cause I was looking at the pink and chocolate diamonds in the catalog in the ER Room… I think it works and at least all us are safe any way but not even you is going to make me bow to them or have anything to do with them bitches ever again. … when I heard “Jesus stupid motherfucker”

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Jealous stupid morherfucker*

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Them typos and flows no… I don’t want or need them I want them out of my body too

[A Disciple]

Ok… get me out of their culture and I can chill… this here not working yet and doesn’t come first. I know what he meant when he said this isn’t me…

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Baker? Nah soldier had a girl…

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Maybe if I hopped over there a sec she go get right again…

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A few months later he got shot for a smile and like… I get that now too like you all playing too much for me!

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I’ve done said or posed fake shit before too that can be taken as disrespect but only in this zone which is why I don’t like it

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Pretty much… it’s on me to be strong now!

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I did go say some bitch shit…

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I said I’m not mad or more like I wish I kicked it to the cutie at the poker table or should I have…

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My 17 year old me would say I hope her vv get wetter than me but my 44 year old self just says keep calm and as long as I don’t get or act or feel pathetic!!!!

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When I wrote that piece about twin I thought my cousin that looked like me could’ve been I never expected pac

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They have me feeling like everybody my soul mate now pac…

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Why would any god be so abusive and do all this or that?

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I already knew God could do anything though…

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Between people and god though? Who did what where cause like I don’t deserve to be punished or live thru anything uncomfortable…

[A Disciple]

I’ll be and do like the stupid bitch though…

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The physical abuse is what I can’t take too pac either…

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My god wouldn’t use pain to talk to me or let people invade my personal boundaries and demand

[A Disciple]

I came here to write something and forgot… life story

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So… I don’t remember what I was watching that was talking about slaves or oppression and is was confirmed that black men were free at the time the constitution was written. When I think of how long it has been since 1954 it freaks me out that we are still brand new at this… the glasses now I get! On its way…

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When I feel stupid I look at another like danggggg… that’s crazy!!! But why time is precious. I know this is also why I have so many bullies and I will see you again too!

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Oh I get it and especially and was asked of myself what would I do? … and my answer was the same exact thing!!!

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Someone found me though…

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I’m registered liberal… that nature vs nurture shit crazy… right?

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Shit that is just in your heart and soul…

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I had the best mom and don’t want to break her heart… but I wish I woke up and got it and understood sooner… so that’s why I got pac as an Angel and music always sung my part back…

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I was born in 78…

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I wish I knew how to post a picture… I will in my profile pic… for a couple of days…

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I hope my write back to “wu forever track 10” would make her proud!!! Can someone repost it cause it was taken down YEARS ago!!!!

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@soul e how I get my wu forever track 10 back and posted again - it was locked @Emily @Candy

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I hope my write back to “wu forever track 10” would make her proud!!! Can someone repost it cause it was taken down YEARS ago!!!!

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And now I understand why I have to go to court to open my birth certificate - if it’s facts that’s just crazy but makes a lot of sense

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Except the Cali to NY… but I hope to learn more about my history too!

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… explains my ass too LoL

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I know she’s an advocate for mental health… if it’s true I want to meet her…

Just my parents especially my mom went above and beyond raising me and still does - does anybody know a way I can get paid for writing so I can pay her back?

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And it explains my ass… but my mom got one too so idek…

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I look just like her and got her smile…

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Was she raped?

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Because I was…

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Let me study up and try to get better and maybe I DO go work on my law degree

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Yeah with Rays mom I never really heard that much soul music before and realized how much I like it too… not R&B but like Etta James and Otis Redding and stuff

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Delete the entire thread at some point… but I wanna be a professional writer

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Insanity been going ok pretty much… I haven’t been hospitalized in 3 years but I also haven’t been getting beat up and such and didn’t even know it too. That creeper did have a pic of me with my pants pulled down though and there is no way in hell I would EVER pull down my pants around that man. Maybe if we drill him we can find out how and why I would open my doors for them too…

[A Disciple]

I don’t know what to think but the last thing I wanna do is disrespect or get sued so I’ll try to shut up

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Left side rib

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Racism always made me mad… in Harlem I was waiting in the car and an activist was giving a speech about the blue eyed devils and I have blue eyes most times so when he got back to the car and we were driving away I leaned out the window and screamed kkk white power - Cedric was pissed but I thought it was funny! He’s black..

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My ex boyfriend is very pro black and watches the conscience pod casts all the time and I actually did learn a lot but every time they say a racist remark I just get up and leave and he laughs

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I’ve dated all races and not selective just happened that the 5 guys that treated me best and wifed me were black

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What else…

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Oh I’m laughing at 2 of my exes that didn’t take me seriously cause I was white

[A Disciple]

I don’t understand why my parent didn’t want me to know…

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My nickname was Muffy growing up… my mom said it was the only thing she could eat. When I was processed and in red pod those 14 hours it was the only thing I could eat from jail food too! Was she in jail? Or just fly to NY in labor? Ok I dnt wanna speak on assumptions anymore I wanna deal in facts…

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I pray I get some answers soon… and that you really are in Cuba LoL

[A Disciple]

If I’m just on a whim no disrespect intended… but I’m a write it out any way

[A Disciple]

I need a lawyer… everybody and their mama gonna try to sue me LoL

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Every time I hear that desperate bitch laughing it makes me so mad!

[A Disciple]

You don’t want me being mad popppopppppppppp
Nah my phone typed that while I was hitting the button it typed all that out

YO… FUCK YOU

as I was saying…

I love the flow and delivery I just hate that one part in the verse… I would’ve made you change it and cause of? I’m offended even more…



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Like it’s my body… you had yours… that don’t mean you get to come back and run mine now too

[A Disciple]

He knows we exactly the same type thinking wise and stuff just he a boy and I’m a girl… it’s actually kinda weird

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But I’m all head over and got to chill

[A Disciple]

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Panther back… I can breathe again

[A Disciple]

When I get married I’ll go to court and open my birth certificate… I actually lost my registration and should work on getting a duplicate…

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We were in NC and my sister pulled out hers and I was like why yours blue and mine yellow if we both were born in New York but I was so busy I didn’t think of that again… then after I came home from the 5 weeks no one will even confirm I was shot episode I point to the words “a birth certificate has been filed under the name of” and heard IE THIS IS NOT IT

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So I asked both my parents and they said no I’m not adopted…

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But when I put in the number and searched online it was taking me to Cali addresses so idek

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There’s so many songs I love almost all but besides his remixes after death of his commercial shit “changes” is extra special to me and can kill any bad mood…

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Or refocus me…

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I know where he want me to go… Hey… we got at least 10 years to figure it out… I’m not gonna jump the gun and even analyze that situation or what it would be like right now… but what I do know that someone like him would need someone stronger like I was thinking when writing too… I was wrong - even though we economically and socially weak this minute. We really can build and stand tall again. I believe I was wrong thinking that…

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It’s funny too cause I saw my ring today and held it… 8 diamonds that my dad gave my mom to say sorry for cheating can I come back home… I don’t believe in diamonds but I believe in taking extra special care of the ones here just cause.

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I wanna crush Gabriel into a diamond too… so like… that’s all a while down the road

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The smile bugged me out too… LoL

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I used to be hyper or some say obnoxious until I got smacked and smacked again then beat down, humiliated to a humble that don’t even make sense… now I’m kinda quiet

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But that bass to my voice that pierces ears… LMAO… my besty gets that too I noticed

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People say stop talking so loud or screaming a lot

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I’m blessed and SO lucky… I’ll name a few… e125th station under the bridge, city morning after the red car save… the hotel room that got busted, myrtle beach screaming at me to wake up… the Jamie situation… pic on my dads wall… better off alone video… hello videos both versions… the dream getting shot in the passenger seat… walking out hospital on an anaphylactic… the jungle spell in video… the private hospital let me listen to his song and watch a movie… the bath tub all eyes… like until the end of time… Hail Mary the 2 acs - like I can go on forever… the bandanna wearing it like that… ironic tummy tat… nose ring… I can go on for like ever but that’s it for now…

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Dead up he my angel and I realized I wasn’t hallucinating too

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I loved how he put his handwriting in the Flower that Grew from Concrete cause I saw we write the same kinda too…

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I bought it for my ex and he gave it back to me so I read it…

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I even wrote in it too… he wouldn’t write with me either and he had a lot of sample tapes just anything music wise or getting back into it he would refuse… they were all good too

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I didn’t know much about pac at all until that first hospitalization in 06 I think it was on my birthday…