A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

My nephew in boot camp for marines… I wrote him and sent him that solider coward verse and asked him if he know what that mean lol wondering now if I shouldn’t have - don’t wanna scare him

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It was my birthday for fact the i think was about 06

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Tell me that don’t freak you out too… SOOOO

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I’m just gonna sit here and act any which way I feel like and it’s gonna work out ����

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Cause I’ve been thru hell and then dragged back thru worse and like

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Well one Halloween I made fussily in red sauce and told them it was brains, then made devil eggs with food coloring and olives and told them it was eye balls… they freaked out and wouldn’t eat it. Then I was like Teej pick out a book and I’ll read to you. He grabbed a hunting book and I was like f it… but it was graphic instructions how to killl and prepare and he wouldn’t eat chicken for like i forget how many years… LoL

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Michaela? She used to run away and cry a lot cause I was blunt and that bass would scare her I think. But that’s my mini me right there. She even a hair dresser now!

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Nico? I love him to death but I stay fucking up!!!! I supported his young marriage like wondering where if things were different would we have gone and they even had their honeymoon in myrtle beach. Then she took off 6 months later… I’m pretty sure with all the wedding money too!

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And his biological… when he wrote I said ok and told Nico without telling my sister. His father hurt him again and I wouldn’t ever disrespect my brother in law either cause he a great dad it wasn’t that. It was maybe I had hope for speaking to mines again if I have them.

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I don’t know my brothers kids like that so I hope to move closer again so I can.

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“Hard stares seem to scare all my sisters kids” … Nico the only one old enough to remember me before I got sick and Michaela the transition but Teej? I don’t think he ever seen me sane really…

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Every verse was ours…

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Except the Mexican mom part… my gma had a huge sombrero though that said Mexico that I would play with when we were over there when I was a kid

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How he know that though?

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How would he know that though*

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It’s my Friday… and they hit me sober or faded… and the physical abuse? Nah…. Nah nah nah like the movie perfect stranger no

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That’s not how you deal with me… you make me worse not better

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Like how is that even on the table as an option though? Hell no

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I’m tired… maybe I try to sleep

[A Disciple]

@DixonButts just read that… thanks for posting that. I know we didn’t always get along on here but I’m not like that I swear. Just an ultra defense mechanism that kept me safe all these years cause it was real and everyone knew I could back it up too… prolly why they tied me

[A Disciple]

If that’s what is up I bet you I have a first name too… I want to know what it is

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A name I had first…

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Matter of fact I lost my registration I have to go figure out how to get a new one.

[A Disciple]

My old friend Ike was trying to make it look like we had a relationship in the sexual nature and we did not!!!!! AT ALL…

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One of them was sent from my phone and he showed me another pic with my pants down. How do they just sleep me like though and get away with it too.

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I would’ve thought multiple personally syndrome but it’s only on their command…

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How and why? Did anyone fix that yet?

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The new and revised circle is coming together I THINK… but yeah… like I want to be incorporated back with my city! I’m not like that… gossip never got back to me and there is only like maybe 5 people my entire life that I hate!!!!

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He wanted a pic of me in my bra and panties and I said no that’s going too far so he showed me with the attitude like here bitch I got it any way and look what else I got and showed that pic

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I haven’t spoke to him in over a year but I still feel stalked and haunted

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What else they do? … you know?

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I’m just doing my cards and the subject got brought up again…

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K? He’s a nice person but I can’t stand his touch

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Like I get a say rifgt? FOH no means no and there is nothing you can do to change my mind

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They think like no one wifed me why I’m not married and desperate or something. Only 2 people asked me and the answer was no. If it isn’t perfect I don’t want it! And as fucked up as my parents marriage was I don’t want to put myself thru that!!!! I had a vision of what my husband was to be and someone to respect for one! I mean to the up most…

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When I fell out the car saying me? Shoe? I thought it meant mine was here and I remembered that peace and comfort in the one split second that night in Norwalk when I don’t remember who it was…

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So I thought dating was finally over and my husband and kids were coming soon. My true dream

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I never wanna be that bitch to hurt a heart… which is why I stayed with R so long too

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I don’t like the spirits and can’t stand this zone… tire of being forced in MY own body to kiss my hands, rub my fingers, or legs. ITS DISRESPECTFUL AS FUCK and I can’t figure out how to make them leave me alone too

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How you just going to change someone’s religion and god without even asking them though? NOOOOOO

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I always compliment

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I don’t want to get married now… for what? I’m too old for kids and hopefully I will be making my own money again soon

[A Disciple]

Droid? That’s was who?

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Writing in my journal about how the witch store asked if I moved and I was like yeah 3x but I shouldn’t have to. The send back didn’t work either and I tried that 3x too… but I still feel like and hear them bitches or being forced to share my body with some spirit or Alien I can’t stand…

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See being crazy I can say shit like this… but I won’t

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You know the first send back kit you are supposed to bury the wax and they even stole that? So I had to buy another one and such… but my faith is magic is at like a zero right now!

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My faith in magic is at a zero*

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Re-org than… I’ve been thru too much as is and not suffering for NOBODY

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Maybe my kids I would if I even have them…

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When I told the store it’s still on me they gave me a an email address and that got blocked via my phone trying to write him too… so I posted the info on the site cause I don’t deserve and tired of being stalked and getting my ass kicked

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Have you ever literally felt like somebody inside of your self? Imagine people with the ugliest souls attaching themselves to you and how gross that feels!!!!! I don’t know how to protect myself or why anybody will not protect me from them…

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Taps to my arms and they refuse to stop doing that too!!! I didn’t give ANYBODY permission to be on my body in the name of god so who is for real?!??? Especially the torture and abuse too!!! Especially cause it’s a stranger too!!! And the level of disrespect is beyond comprehension cause I’m a rape victim too. Who thinks I want some creeper some stranger some asshole that abuses me and I’m just supposed to suck it up and accept it and fall into line? My god better do that to you too!

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Is that why I’m more deformed than ever too?

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Our families and religions I guess just don’t get along and never will so nah I don’t know what to do either… it’s not like you protect me anyway

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Nah I rather be dead than to sit here being abused while they try to force me to my old friends that tied abused sold and who ever knows what else they did to me. Never going to happen - they can get a page in your book but not mine

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No… I refuse to live my life like them… like this…

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Taps to my arms and they refuse to stop doing that too!!! I didn’t give ANYBODY permission to be on my body in the name of god so who is for real?!??? Especially the torture and abuse too!!! Especially cause it’s a stranger too!!! And the level of disrespect is beyond comprehension cause I’m a rape victim too. Who thinks I want some creeper some stranger some asshole that abuses me and I’m just supposed to suck it up and accept it and fall into line? My god better do that to you too!

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That’s not my god and I want MY god back

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I just want to be myself

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I don’t like them or their culture and they never even asked or had permission

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I don’t want to be forced to live the rest of my life like them!!!!

[A Disciple]

[A Disciple]

I can’t stand feeling like other people!!!!

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I’m going to try to sleep…

[Emily]

@soul e how I get my wu forever track 10 back and posted again - it was locked @Emily @Candy

Im sorry Disciple, I wish I could help but I don’t know anything about this.

[A Disciple]

@Emily it’s ok… thanks for checking in! Any leagues back up and open?

[A Disciple]

The bank error came back to bite me… ironically on a Sunday after I posted a pic of his casino money… you act like that ish was mine BUT can you guys mess up and send me my birth certificate instead of registration?

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I just want to know…

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I don’t want to go to court to open it up… but will eventually if I have to

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Yes we’re dating but he has a girl (the one that held him down) not me who took off when they denied his parole… I know and I feel like that bitch too. I don’t know what my point is in telling you that… ohhhh… now that he is out it is going a lot smoother and is easier for me… maybe that’s what was wrong prior? I have NO clue…

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And no that’s not who I went to the casino with… we actually got in a fight about that too

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I’m still going to date other people obviously

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But really would start my 10 count now…

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I was like 37 and wanted kids… not him… next

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That’s why I left…

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Well in the end to end up with not having kids? It’s only ok if I did but at the same time you a fucking prick for that

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Tick tock every year, month, day, hour, or second you can never get back. Even if you do have MAD pictures for me

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Idk who you gave my kids to and I’m not gonna disrespect their mother but don’t ever forget they are mine and part of me and flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood and I better not find out you was lying or playing any games with them cause I do have more then just a bark… they better have had THE BEST CHILDHOOD EVER!!!!

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Your cousin? I’m going to have him extradited out of the country if he doesn’t continue to leave me alone…

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Lmfao no statutes… it almost makes it ok… ALMOST

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My belly button didn’t fuck itself up… I’ll be 100 and transparent… yeah I’m real mad but I’m not gonna come at you. I’m more hurt.

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Tatted it to fix my belly button with the nose ring nose that rejected 3x… I finally get it right and then got processed to red pod and they made me take it out… not to be “Tupac” I heard in a song of you so and so and that’s so and so and nah I didn’t realize people were doing or playing like that. I definitely wasn’t…

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https://www.google.com/search?q=bett..._waZAMs0I,st:0

[A Disciple]

Like… just sounds like my name to my name? It’s hard to stay grounded that important people are watching, know the deal, and want to help

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My boy doesn’t have any weed… mad as fuck right now but I think that is what is putting the extra weight on me…

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There’s a comfortable way to do this and a painful icky way - either way we gonna get to the same conclusion but I’m not with the hate shit

[Emily]

@Emily it’s ok… thanks for checking in! Any leagues back up and open?

Haiku but atm we’re in the middle of playoffs.
Hope you’re well xx

[A Disciple]

Then no!!! I want nothing to do with them or their religion!!!!

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I refuse I rather be dead then to live hearing or feeling like them…

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I don’t know who did what and I don’t care… I’m not suffering for NOBODY!!! Unless I do have kids…

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What was it 2006 when I tripped over the bitch using her laptop next to my bedroom door?

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I get some of it now trust… but I’m not suffering cause they some coniving and lying assholes

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That’s 16 more years of suffering when I didn’t have to all cause of what for real?

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She said she needed a power outlet…

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I sent it back YEARS ago or at least tried to and it still isn’t getting much better for me!

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Get them away from me and make them stop begging me too!!! I fucking said NO and there is nothing or no one on this earth that is going to change my mind

[A Disciple]

I’m sorry that hurts you but I can’t do that.. it’s again every fiber of my being

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I won’t do it for you either…

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Fuck then bitches, friends, affiliates and Aallies… I am tired as FUCK especially on the every day shit… like I said I have no clue what they did or said or what really is going on either but I’m not going to sit here and let them demand to change my religion or stalk and abuse me either.

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I literally hear him trying to make commands or pray in my head somehow… and it’s really gross too just icky straight up

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God will tell you himself what they did to me when you get there a long long time from now hopefully. I’m not lying and i didn’t and don’t deserve it

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I’m going to try to sleep… I’ve fucking tried everything to get them off me…I don’t know how but I also know I don’t deserve it

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Idk who is blowing kisses it could be the extra morbidly obese pervert

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Idk how or what he did to get my freewill and black me out or slept me but we going to figure it out… how does some low level pervert have the ability to do all that? And I’m tired as fuck… do you know what I went thru whether real or not and god can do anything? What did I even do to deserve that lesson either and like not my god and no way in hell is it ever going to be either

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The pins and tugs and splashes been there since like 9@ but when they abusive there is a problem… I’m not letting ANYBODY do that to me… give me my body back please

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How can any ole fucking freak attach themselves to your body without even asking ESPECIALLY when it’s not even your religion either

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TIRED AS FUCK!!!!! Them other bitches need to stop reading this shit too… nobody on this earth going to make me have anything to do with them ever again either…

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I say we all poly tonight on life and death and I mean true life and death… WHO LYING?

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If you’re lying you die… that would be my wish

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I’m tired of hearing them laugh and stalk too… I wish so bad there was a way to get them away from me and set the truth straight… cause them bitches wack as all hell and unstable…

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Mother Nature I’m surprised… cause you can’t fool my God how they fool you?

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I’m going to bed…

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I just wanna know why god would wanna make a bitch scared they were passing her around though? Especially when you not that bitch to begin with so like… and way way more… that’s not my god and it never will be… so get the 2 sides off me and I’ll side with one… MINE

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If I was raped again I swear to god I’m not stopping until they all dead or on death row… like it’s their favorite play

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I want to know who and how… cause that’s not god or the devil… at least not mine

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Yes the same when I was sick mentally and quit IBM… I wrote her an email that incriminated her at work. I talked about how she stole the money at the gas station all the time and she went ballistic… I wonder if she was so paranoid cause she was skimming from them too… but I was the one to lose my job and I didn’t even have malice intent like that to begin with. So why would I trust or respect that religion for real? Especially when karma still ain’t come around for them…

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And I’m getting my ass kicked for no reason and no help

[A Disciple]

“We are living life like a video” … and I forgot that quick my idea

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This bitch think what? And to levels that are real to the ones that are all in your head…

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I have zero faith in witchcraft right now cause I know I ain’t even do shit!!!! Hate gonna demand to be here instead? Nah I don’t think so - that’s the stuff I rather world star

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Ever see 50 first dates? I’m going to compile a list of facts that I need to remind myself of everyday!

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I do still have some day, day ones though…

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Out of weed but you see how much weight I gained for no reason but still in the same size (knee tap) … I’m getting upset at the religious disrespect too