A poem...

[ExceedinglyMachoRapper]

I would be ignorant as the dawn
That has looked down
On that old queen measuring a town
With the pin of a brooch
Or on the withered men that saw
From their pedantic Babylon
The careless planets in their courses
The stars fade out where the moon comes
And took their tablets and did sums
I would be ignorant as the dawn
That merely stood, rocking the glittering coach
Above the cloudy shoulders of the horses
I would be - for no knowledge is worth a straw -
Ignorant and wanton as the dawn

[Foreshadow]

You have me confused are you meaning like The Don or like at sunrise. But anyway this was a nice piece an Im feeling this for the most part. Imaginary was decent but I feel that you didnt give that many details to make this piece better. You stayed consistant with your work on this an It came out okay I just wish that it would have been a longer read.

[Mesmerize]

Okay, this piece was decent. It did have a creative poetic tone to it which made it enjoyable, and I give you props for that. I can see you have a poets potential, but you still need some elevation. The imagery I felt could have been a bit stronger, and like shadow said, I would have liked for this to be longer as well so I could get a better feel for it. I liked the fact that it didnt rhyme, you pulled it off well with that, simply because of the poetic voice you used in this. Overall not a bad drop, I would like to see more from you. Keep it up. Peace.

[ILLusions]

Not real sure what I thought about this one....

No title, but then again, you don't need one....

"From their pedantic Babylon
The careless planets in their courses
The stars fade out where the moon comes"

This piece had its moment, but overall, I wasn't feelin' it. I mean, its just my opinion, but keep writing, that is the only way to get better

[ExceedinglyMachoRapper]

I didnt write it...WB Yeats did...I posted it to see what you thought...Im gonna post my own poem later on...keep an eye out for me

[ILLusions]

[Foreshadow]

Sure........

[Thrust]

this was an ok piece

kind of indirect i think...i don't know i just didn't get into this one here.