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Thread: My Mentality My Mind

  1. April 25th, 2005, 06:52 AM #16
    Double E
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    the first verse was sick man i wasnt feeling the second as much but it was still hot
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  2. April 25th, 2005, 03:02 PM #17
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    ok thnx ppl for ur feedback and thnx on ur comment kali and kaotic but double e write a little more man but thats ok then thnx on ur comments kaotic ill keep on elevatin uppin #1 on 4/25
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  3. April 25th, 2005, 06:09 PM #18
    Kobra
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    Seemed to flow well. Bars werent streched. Nice use of vocab but I think that your rhyming words could have been abit more complex.

    Apart from that little thing a very nice piece famo
    Keep it up!
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  4. April 26th, 2005, 04:11 PM #19
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    uppin this pplz plz send feedback and thnx for ur feedback above plz send in more aight
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  5. April 26th, 2005, 07:17 PM #20
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    uppin this again 2day second time and last 2day plz ppl send feedback in just a little of ur time ok 1
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  6. April 27th, 2005, 02:54 PM #21
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    uppin this again plz pplz leave feedback on it aight 1
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  7. April 28th, 2005, 02:42 PM #22
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    uppin this again plz ppl send feedback aight uppin #1 on 4/28
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  8. April 29th, 2005, 05:09 PM #23
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    uppin this #1 on 4/29/05 plz ppl just leave feedback aight 1
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  9. April 29th, 2005, 05:57 PM #24
    Bounce
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    This is a marked improvement from other peices you've dropped in here. I still see many areas that you could aply some time in, such as word choice. Although you did have beeter vocab than some of yourprevious work, you ned to find the exact point of when and where to use it. Rhyme scheme needs to have some work, alter the meter from verse to verse, change it up. Come with blistering alliteration in one then go for some thing different filled with complex internals, transitions are improtant in wirting. Try ot fill each lien with meaningful content, imagry and emotion, if you can. It comes with time, hardwork and dedication, nothing is free in life but the air you breth and sooner or later that's going to be taxed too...

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  10. April 29th, 2005, 06:02 PM #25
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    aight man thnx for ur pinions man really like it man ill try to improve in that ok 1 uppin this again last time today
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  11. April 30th, 2005, 12:09 PM #26
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    plz ppl uppin this again plz send in more feedback aight1
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  12. April 30th, 2005, 10:24 PM #27
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    uppin again plz ppl leave feedback on this ok 1
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  13. April 30th, 2005, 11:37 PM #28
    prolific
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    nice shit dawg
    like the imagery and hook rlly good keep writin this kind of suff definatly feelin this
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  14. May 1st, 2005, 01:44 PM #29
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    ok thnx prolific but shouldve left in more feed

    uppin this
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  15. May 2nd, 2005, 06:10 AM #30
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    uppin this again
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