taking my time

[kriminal_perspekt]

this is the beat i used
http://www.soundclick.com/player/sin...&q=hi&newref=1

chorus= bold

tempo speed up=underlined

as i am makin rhymes/ creatin lines/ i'm just takin time/ to make me fine/ how can i be makin rhymes? with everyone so cold/ everything so old/ as i continue down this road/ i have no idea where to go/ would it kill to dare to know/ but everyones so scared to know/ so i walk alone/ down a lonely road/ only knowin i insanely rhyme/ and i'm just taking my time.... yeah i'm just taking my time...

how can i proclaim to be someone i'm not/ in my stomach it sank to me tyin in knots/ i am tryin not to be the one bustin them shots/ all up on the block/ so i put down that glock/ and grab a pencil and start runnin the clock/ seems like life has ripped me off/ my sanity's grip be soft/ so sick and tired of hopin/ i'll get noticed/ like aiyyo this kid can talk... this is not makin money for me to be payin bills/ people say he's ill, but they say joey styles be the same as well/ so this is just my life and my name is will/ still broke so i go get me a job/ these dishes need to be gettin washed/ down this road this kid keeps gettin lost/ and it's hard to be spittin/ the lyrics i have written/ livin this life i keep on forgettin/ that i should keep on forgivin/ but it's hard to remember with the people i live with/ so i just keep spittin/ hopin that one day i may get redemption....

as i am makin rhymes/ creatin lines/ i'm just takin time/ to make me fine/ how can i be makin rhymes? with everyone so cold/ everything so old/ as i continue down this road/ i have no idea where to go/ would it kill to dare to know/ but everyones so scared to know/ so i walk alone/ down a lonely road/ only knowin i insanely rhyme/ and i'm just taking my time.... yeah i'm just taking my time... [/B]

i take a look at my life/ take a look at whats right/ it seem almost [B]
different, almost as if it's like/ day and night/ say you'll be bright/ claim that you shine with your syllables tight/ as if they know what it's like to be you and the person your tryin to be/ doesn't seem likely to me/ that anyone will see me in the light of the t.v./ BET or MTV/ it only seems to be the simple people make in hip hop/ only a few express some form of creativity/ no realism in any of these MC's we see... all that we hear/ all that is here/ is fake as it appears/all that were here/ have all disappeared/ and to me this is not being clear... so what do it do, keep livin my life/ no matter if it's wrong or right/pick the beats that be tight/ the things that i like/ simply just to see/if it was me/ was to be/ for these people to see/me on the mic?/ and hopefully i can be that image beyong the light

as i am makin rhymes/ creatin lines/ i'm just takin time/ to make me fine/ how can i be makin rhymes? with everyone so cold/ everything so old/ as i continue down this road/ i have no idea where to go/ would it kill to dare to know/ but everyones so scared to know/ so i walk alone/ down a lonely road/ only knowin i insanely rhyme/ and i'm just taking my time.... yeah i'm just taking my time...

[kriminal_perspekt]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...903/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=7317770

[Swayde]

this is meh for me dude....it's ok concept wise and theme wise....but lyrically lacking....needed imagery....better vocab...and some emotion...and in some places i noticed lots of undeveloped ideas....always finish what u start...keep writing dude

[2triple0]

i think the structure to this piece was really off i couldn't really tell what you were tryin got do and there was too much going on in the page for me to understand it bar for bar... you should try and work on your structure a little bit as far as the content goes it wasn't very impressive either... you need to work on your topics you had an alright rhyme scheme but it wasn't very complex... so three things you need to work on: structure, content, and flow.... alright peace