GrimReapa (3-2) vs. Euphoric (3-3) [VOTE]

[Brandon Cee]

Rules and Regulations

Please note the due times in the rules. Be on time, and as always, good luck!

[GrimReapa™]

yep. g/L

[Euphoric]

Good luck.

[GrimReapa™]

http://i52.tinypic.com/23rpj00.png


*King of The Jungle Days*

Feet beat quickly one after the other on this blood filled roads
Criminals cower in fear, some lay down able to be controlled
I am the king of this concrete jungle till the walls crumble
the law never sways or stumbles, its a never ending tussle
the sirens are my roar and these goons are my prey & I'm restless
Terrorized by an unforeseen menace, my ego stays strong & zealous
I am the nexus, the connection between right in wrong, its perplexin
These civilians its my honor to protect them, wrong do-ers I arrest them
I run this city with noone to compete with, any challenge I complete it
strike fear in the legs of my gangbangin enemies who never beat shit

*15 Years in*

My knees grind as I hustle to keep up with a tough young perp
these are hard tasks to convert, my senses are no longer alert
lies not as easy to detect, am I starting to loose all my rep
not feared as before, still respected but that's a big step
downward so what can I do to change this, I hate who I am
get whooped in fights I taste blood in my spit and phlegm
people not even og, youngins new to the game show nothing
I'm stumbling, I can feel my image crumbling, I lost my cunning
things are taking a serious twist I'm becoming inferior quick
my name is becoming hideous bitch, maybe I'm delirious, quit

*23 Years in*

shoulda gone for it while i could, stuck in that shoulda woulda
they tell me everythings okay, so my life should be good huh?
Am i suppose to sit here and smile as I'm being forgotten
i miss my gun cocking, what now I'm a second call option
they call me a detective, but all i detect it their true incentive
they're mighty deceptive, but the sight is truly depressive
this desk is my new partner, fighting off the evil stack of papers
fantasizing about my greatness wishing to be put back to danger
my days as the king of the jungle are over, givin the cold shoulder
no longer a street solider is this what it feels like to get older

[Euphoric]

Disconnected. But then again, you were never really there.



Thank you.

Those are the first words I should say to you.
Then, I’d say something different…

Like what the fuck man, I never expected this—
I thought, being a father, you’d at least respect your kids,
You’d have their backs and your love’s a given, right?
But given rights are worthless when its just a written lie,
Lettering stabs, since fake 'I love yous' hurt in the worst way,
While your actions do even more than what your words say.
But forget talking, Mom’s purple face says it all for me:
The red splotches and bluish rings stand out, awfully
Reminding the world of your admirable “teachings”
—Standing up for yourself is wrong
And it’ll get you in line for some beatings.

But Dad,

I’ve got a question, was I just built to blame?
An outlet, for all of your own guilt and shame?
You push every night; for the sake of pushing me, right?
With your support, I know that I’ll be reaching new heights,
Cus you’re pretty strong, and when you throw me into the air,
I can see—you regret that the love was never there.
It’s apparent; you don’t think you’re fit to be a parent,
But you’re stuck with the job and it’s like something foreign,
You’re a stranger to it all and your frustration turns to rage,
You turn Mom and me crimson, your mind clearly deranged,
Dearly estranged, from this silly little thing known as ‘family’,
Nah… it’s a nightmare for you—you’d give up on us happily.

But you still have the nerve,

To say things like, “kid, you’re going to be great,”
Encouraging me to pursue (your) interests
—With no fucking debate.
And if I dare to speak, you’re quick to bare your teeth,
Since you don’t care to see, that I’m fading beneath
The great mask you etched onto my skin;
My sad gaze pierces through the holes,
--Only to pale, next to my happy grin
And you have me in, these situations you feel
Would prove to the world, that your love is real;
But also, your shove is real--can't you remember?
The time you hit Mom with a shoe, around last December;
Or when you threw that broken beer bottle at me,
And threatened to drive your car full throttle at me,
If I didn't listen to you, but that's simply shit,
See you're always wrong...
though it's something you won't admit.

I guess it’s all vicarious now,
And if I carry this out,
You might keep your belt on for once,
And I for one, can’t remember (it must’ve been months)
Since the last time there were no slashes
From lashes and gashes from bashes…

You know? Typical Father-son time.

I usually write stories Dad, but this one's for you,
Cus you helped me learn, exactly what not to do.

So thank you.

[Euphoric]

Double.

[Token]

Grim: I can appreciate your take on the topic, and like the story you told.. however I feel like you could spend a little bit more time polishing up your rhyme scheme and using some multis. The flow read jagged to me, rhyming words that sort of sound similar but don't quite rhyme is one of my pet peeves. Keep at it though man, you'll get it.

Euphoric: Overall a very polished verse. I really appreciated your multis to make for an smooth read and good transitions from line to line. Story was also pretty good, but your emotion stood out most for me.

Vote: Euphoric, for a more polished and mechanically sound verse

[Bongkers]

Grim- Cool concept, but like token said your rhyme schemes are quite basic.. it's really just one syllable rhyming, try use mulites more, play around with the flow.. it really makes a big difference to your verse and it makes it more enjoyable to read.. it gets a bit boring when you just rhyme one word with another, personally I come on here to see who can dropp the illest multies & flow while keeping their concept & or story on track. overall not a bad drop, but room for improvement.

Euphoric- Your drop was on some real shit, and you could feel the emotion when reading it. Multies were on point, you delivered the story well too. nothing negative to say really.. I feel this is a big improvement from your verse last week keep it up homie.

V- E, overall a better verse

[Brandon Cee]

Eupohoric wins (4-3)
Grim loses (3-3)

CLOSED