The Last Of Us.

[Alphabet]

a martyr traveling on a path of broken souls
hope provokes an open road that's frozen cold
it use to glimmer, shine like it was rolled with gold
now it's crumbled, fallen with empires that have been broken/sold
the old have spoke an ode that's tragic and ominous
a story baleful, full of regret that lacks any consciousness
it has haunted us, since the day's of time relapsed in a grain of sand
a forsaken man with blatant plans to let hatred stand and make us damned
it was told since the times of ancient land, before fate was planned
after the fall of supreme's but before they could take a stand
so now we're stuck with the trials and tribulations of wild vindication
incarcerated in a vile sinner's sanctum masquerading as a tyrants civil nation
we're are carcass's piled in damnation


Your soul was sold the day god created it, you still have the relationship
so stray from complacent-ness
..be yourself..
when it comes to sin don't relate to it
this is the truth and something you can find as fact
if you stay on the right path, he might just buy it back

it's corruption that has to gain from what the past has slain
a passive stain on blood en-grained in the hands of pain
the mask is vein, captivated but has no task or name
a faceless past of what destruction has embarked on the masters face
so we masquerade & let the masks parade in a passive state
demise and deception, a rise of inception
decline in the mind of the giants that tempt it
the grind is redemption, and once the timing reflects it
we will find the hand of the clock will supply our ascension
it's not just something you can find in a sentence
or even between the lines of who said this
this is my mind and I spread it, until it's the thought that is passive
until it is passed like the past and embodies the captive
know your not trapped, take not you've adapted
this is a fact you can quote to your grand kids
hold it with a motive so captive, know it's astounding
now the great souls are surrounding
& know you are not the last of us, because it was those who have found me.

[Zen the Dude]

I'm returning the feed as promised.

This to me had it's positives and negatives. I'll start with the negatives first, and really the main issue with it was your word usage. At times it seemed like you were trying to do too much in some of the lines.

it's corruption that has to gain from what the past has slain
^^This line for example, and while I understand it and it is a good concept, if it had been reworded it would have hit a little harder than it did. The way it is now with the awkward wording to start it off makes the reader miss the full intent of it.

The positives of this piece was the flow. You didn't use vocab that blew me away, but you managed to maintain the flow throughout. Sometimes you maintained it by using slightly awkward wording like I mentioned, but still this shit flowed very well. In some instances an entire line rhymed together and I particularly like that type of shit. All in all, good piece of work. Keep dropping.