Humanity Stolen

[Jukon]

@Jukon
what's wrong with humanity, what fuels the insanity?
CEO's making blanket statements backhandedly?
or
It begins with festering doubt, pestering devout
Christians that would rather plant seeds in the ground
growing their own religion, refusing to help those
who didn't walk with Him.
I find holes all around me, the whole world is crowding,
drowning,
downing their sorrows with half minded doubting.
over all of the shouting- I heard,
the one voice of a coward,
"Save me, I HAVE power!" as he hides in the flowers.
the pollen, it travels, to roads no longer laced with gravel,
all soles broken n tattered, accompanied by throats that babble.

@Ntalek
I've kill you and i ain't need a choke hold to stab you
my road stretches as far as my story goes you'll have
to honor this i've freed the slave's of the pain
call me Spartacus
you shoot arrows like slave i might wanna give ya heart a kiss
you like rap battles huh? well then you might wanna follow this
the flow is ancient been doing this for ages
and if you wonder whats the square of the box?
4x4 they kept me caged in...i've popped all type of pills
and lived in the matrix but that was only on my dayshift
roll it around a wine glass and sip you wont know where the taste went
and that was just a statement allah akbar i still move with god fragrance

@Day-day
A picture is worth a thousand words but how much are those words worth?
Cuz positive thoughts are priceless but negativity leaves those words cursed.
Dispersed amongst those who were guilt ridden and saddened,
Creating the illusion of safety in a world full of mad men.
So like an ad-lib I fill the void with smoke and mirrors of a time past
That carny folks used to pull passersby in to spend a dime fast.
But alas I'm still just sipping out of the very same wine glass
That holds a concoction of the poison that Romeo held tight; clasped.
I leave this world knowing that despite my efforts to stay,
I gave up on humanity
Almost every day.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...e-me-the-topic
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...se-Walls-Pt-II

[ILLunatic]

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[Jukon]

yUp

[fuckyou33333333]

Not bad, not great either though. I feel like Jukon could've reworded and polished his piece up a little more. Read on a very elementary and simple level. Rhyme scheme was average and overall it was just an okay verse. Ntalek improved it a little but I felt like his wording was also a bit skimpy. Like. Could've reworded a few lines and it would've been much more fluent. DayDay was probably the best verse. Nice wording and his rhyme scheme was decent. Overall if some lines were reworded in the first and second verse and there were small stanzas in between to help tell a stronger story this would've been much more entertaining. Not bad though. Worth the read. Keep writing.