Need feedback for my first Rap

**raggzy-R** · February 19th, 2016, 05:49 AM

Hello,
This is Ragzzy-R. I just started Rapping and heres is my first recording.This is for my first track with a friend of mine called MC Deep. Im just starting so be kind

.I know I need to learn a lot so any feedback is appreciated.So heres the link

https://www.orfium.com/track/21633/first-rap-ragzzy-r/

and heres the lyrics

Im from chennai and Deep is from Bengaluru thats why i started it like that

Code:

chennai and bengaluru team-up to drop bomb
woofers go up and down im lyrical Leprechaun
cocks my pen(gun) to  shoot down punch lines
I behead you with my bars watch me  murder your   fake rhymes 
we drop verse to give you enlightenment dopeness imminent 
im verbal stungun,you aint no relevant
your verse too soft im poetic Bludgeon
when this song drops every haters head pops 
cuz my words are like a bullet let the  .45 glock
You cant reach my poetic enormity
I feel pity, oh Yeah kitty kitty kitty
m darth vader u still use vibrators 
its time for haters to cry and  say your prayers 
I get high in fame like skyscrapers
mentioned in every single newspaper
When you niggas hesitate and stay back
I'll levitate ridin chicks in my maybach
Its time for me to have my payback,Plz stop Cuz you just blay Rap

.

Thanks in Advance