Sacred Scriptures Season 15 Championship Battle: Enoch Light Wins 2-1

[143]

CHAMPIONSHIP BATTLE
ENOCH LIGHT VS THEILLYRICIST

CHECK IN BY 7/2

VERSES BY 7/16

OPEN VOTING ON THIS

EPIC VERSE

This round will be your epic verse
The verse must be between 48 and 60 lines
It's open topic so I want to see your best...

Good Luck Gentlemen....

Oh by the way, the champion will receive the first ever Sacred Scripture Championship Ring....

@Enoch Light @TheIllyricist

[Nohbody]

check

good luck Ill

[TheIllyricist]

same to you Light, check it uppp it's game time!

[TheIllyricist]

Serenity

I knew a woman once who was more than a passing sleaze,
Gorgeous, refined and a voice reflecting her name; matching serenity.
Oppositional glow in contradiction to the fires of war
Lighting my core to stand up and reach higher for more
Out there; a pristine grassy dance floor, she may have swayed like a whore
But once you land upon her tranquil shores, you’d beg for more

Too bad I slammed the door…

A man with vision unhindered by limits
An imagination painted with infinite crimson
This palette stained with a steel brush, lord of thunder
Torn asunder, laid out her corpse with bloody colors
On a canvas of gravestones and sons of mothers
Drowning in Styx as Hades brings them under

Inhale, cough; terrible dreams – what was the purpose?
I’m frail and rough, a skeletal sea – coming to the surface,
Gasping for air, asking for care, but lost in her glare
Cast from elsewhere and full of despair
As I’ve made my home with bombs and a box full of shells
Crafting a scope and can’t find the calm as a clock ticks; the handful of hell

They say time will tell, but I wonder if it’s a self-damning kind of spell;

Locked between cell bars of digits and mathematic schemes
Even when I’m wandering free amidst landscapes reminiscent of classics we read
Unable to feel, I remembered when I wanted to be a medic who heals
Turns out on my reel I got more in common with Achilles and his heel

My Hector, beaten and battered; dragged through the sand
Before a wall that mattered and blocked out those who were damned
Love and war, two halves of me and the wrong side won
Remembered by deeds, I’m heralded by the sun
Yet I feel like the loner with no name; in the desert with a gun

Traveled oceans, shattered kingdoms, all I’ve accomplished
Is nothing but a trail of blood; funny, it’s always peace that I promised

Marching for so long to a song of fear,
I find myself in a darkened maze beyond the seers
A corpse laden jungle (even if it’s not) year after year
And I see her face again telling me; you don’t belong here

Backed against the tree, the demons speak
Gnashing the mind, a mental climb to regretful peaks
Collapsed with a shriek as the body weeps
Scarlet streaks and I reek
As death has me feeling weak

Her face comes to me through the blackness
A gaze of sadness that I’m stabbed with
Tears giving way to a final leafy mattress
And a hollow sorrow filled with madness

This life could have held so much for we,
She speaks easily and kisses tenderly
Her honey-soaked lips taste like grief to me

Don’t leave me please
And her comfort leaves, departs to heaven’s sea
As the darkness seeds have sprouted leaves and trees
Dawn has gone, and her form is in my dreams

A gentle touch more soft than a passing breeze,
She’s a mountain view and a cherry tree…

Her name is Serenity.

http://orig07.deviantart.net/065b/f/...it-d52s47y.png

[Nohbody]

The Ballad Of Willie Day:

Willie Day was a criminal. a wanted fugitive on the run
Found a lucrative career in the illegal sales of guns
Often just for fun he liked to demonstrate his skills
.38 picking off the targets at a rate that gave him chills
Anything to pay the bills as he moved from state to state
Taking the back roads to sneak away and shake the jakes
Often making time to place a call out to his mate
His fiancé Kate, pregnant with his son: Alot at stake
Tell mother I love her, tell my father im straight
Ill be home before you know it – she made a promise to wait
He was trying to make a home the best way that he could
Just one last run, then ill be back to be with you for good
Not a second later, they approached from behind
Officer drew down at point blank and caught Willie Day blind
Put your hands behind your back, motherfucker your mine
Cuffed & stuffed him in the car, drove him back to state lines

10:49 he stares the judge in the face
As the gavel smacks mahogany wood the verdict is placed
For your crimes Willie Day I give you 4 years and 6 months
No chance for parole, please take this man out in cuffs
As they rush him to greet his new institutional plight
He sits in the last seat of the bus reflecting on life
They approach. the gate opens as they enter the bay
Officer cracks him in the face, welcome home Willie Day
As he enters his bunk his cell mate introduces him self
I’m Muhammad Ahmed. A prophet I can offer you wealth
Of knowledge, peace, and teach you how to be free in your heart
Guide you through this darkness through the words of Allah
Teach you how to grow as man and know the laws of Shariah
As he stood among his new brothers holding on his Quran
He embraced his new faith like he was lost all along
They spoke of vengeance, revenge, until his sentence was gone
Converted to Islam, repented through prayers and songs
Denounced American law, hatred grew for the culture he saw
Swore the infidels would die, and declared his day of Jihad
Soon they will all pay he proclaimed to his God
Hugged his brothers peace and farewell; All praise be to Allah

After 4 years and 6 months he sits at the foot of his bed
AK magazines at his feet, pipe-bombs padding his vest
Ready if today brought a beautiful death
Walls covered with intel, maps, and the terror he sketched
The plot was drawn out and planned in a couple of steps
Wait for the parade then spray until nobody is left
As the cops rush, blow them up and then jet
Back into the arms of Kate and kiss my son on the head
Took a breath as the drummers line the front of town hall
He fires his instrument of death as bodies stumble and fall
Blood covers the streets, thick sheet of cranberry sauce
81 infidels shot, forty nine souls murdered and lost
Including women and kids but that’s the cost for my cause
Clean escape from the scene . . . I give this day to Jihad

Im going home. . .

As I slowly make my way up the sidewalk path
I smell my mother’s rose garden scent in the pass
That familiar place when you know your finally home
Cant wait to see Kate and show my love how I grown
See my childs face for the very first time
Share my new faith.
Give their life the same meaning Allah gave mine
The door chimes, my mother answers with a stone look on her face
“Mom I’m home”

She says “Im sorry willie Day. Have you heard about Kate”
She was downtown with your son today, at the Parade
And some crazed lunatic gunned them down and escaped

All in the name of Islam, 40 whores, and his faith. . .

http://www.daymarkcounseling.com/web...es/anguish.jpg

[Soule]

Illy, so, I'm going to begin with the things I didn't like so you hate me much less by the end of this feedback. First, your syllable count. Shit went up and down like a drunk zig zag. That really fucks with the flow of things and the ability to tell something (a story) coherently. Towards the end it got better, in the sense that it became better balanced, but you switched to short lines which still fucked around. You need to structure yourself better because this went all over the place. Which again, is a big reason why I wasn't a fan of how this piece flowed. It was everywhere. Lines read off because either the second line was far too long or the first line was far too short. Your vocabulary wasn't the keenest either. Not that it was elementary or anything but some words didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense. Like you just put words down to make things come off better, when really they just leave a question mark on the face of your readers. I appreciate you story tell but I felt like all the fundamentals held you back here man. In the end of the day, I'd recommend a more polished structure. More balanced syllable count. More cohesive rhyme scheme.

Kayge, this was pretty dope man. You basically had everything your opponent lacked. The structure was very well polished and your syllable count helped everything fall into place. I liked the concept you used, something most men could imagine and some could relate to. Then in the end, you throw in the religious aspect which is something we all have learned to fear especially as of late. I liked it. Your rhyme scheme was simple yet solid enough to help maintain a smooth and entertaining flow. In the end of the day man, I have no complaints about this read at all.

Vote Kayge/Enoch Light for the better read.

[trajik]

i'll be back for this. can't let your final go down as sad as mine did.

[143]

Ill- You have came a long way from the first time posting in this league. You are what this league is suppose to do for topical writers. Thank you for your continued participation in this as well.

Your verse is very poetic. Even the structure leans toward that feel with the broken verses and singular lines. It does give you the creative palate for you to draw and insert some graphic detail to the drop. You really pulled out some emotions in this getting the edges of it really defined. the movement in this was soft, slow which is a good thing because you let the reader really bathe in the moment that was presented. The syllable count and flow was good but the style of this piece didn't need a focus on that count and needed to be free formed. One of the things that I was looking for but didn't read it was the a defined barrier that underline the appreciation of Serenity. Putting that in showing the opposites of feeling vs restraint would have kicked this up a notch. But as it stand I feel that this is the best piece that you have written in this league. Good Job...

Enoch Light

When the chips are on the line you go to that familiar gun to shoot down the comp. I like the storytelling in this. I thought it was crisp and not overbearing with undue imagery as some would do. The movement was in the pocket keeping pace with the various events points in the drop. The diction, structure and count was on point as well. I could see this as a commentary for a news broadcast and pulling out the recent events to draw the reader in strategically is a good look. What I was missing from this is a little more depth, especially in the change in prison. I felt that right there you could highlight more on the mindstate and rage that he was building up to set up the rest of the verse. It would have definitely sustained the ending giving it a slightly clearer picture.

I hate yall for making this a tough choice. But thank you both for bringing out the big guns.......

I have to vote for Ill because I connected on the free form feelings I got from his drop where in Kayge's drop the storytelling didn't give me enough depth to really feel the progression in nature of his character.

Thank You both....

[Emily]

TheIllyricist, I've got no idea what King Soule is talking about. I read your verse and imo, it had a lovely flow, an obvious flow.
Your verse was a little more poetic in that intricate way, and Enoch Lights verse was a little more OM'ish. Illy, you had your usual stunning pictures
breezing past my imagination while I read your words. The whole serenity theme was good. I liked the sense of serenity you had in the little things,
ie: tranquil wording, tranquil colours, even reflecting on her brings a sense of serenity, peace and calm. Even though your wording is harsh at times,
I still feel a floating nature that's not easy to bring out in the wording when you've just not got it. But you've got it. And I felt it.
I like it a lot.

"...Her face comes to me through the blackness
A gaze of sadness that I’m stabbed with
Tears giving way to a final leafy mattress
And a hollow sorrow filled with madness

This life could have held so much for we,
She speaks easily and kisses tenderly
Her honey-soaked lips taste like grief to me

Don’t leave me please..."

I like it. You've got fragrant language, giving life to an air of sophistication even when you paint it dark and moody.
You talented writer, you.

Enoch Light. On the first read, I got a bit over the melodical flow. I felt it was a tad boring (don't shoot me with your guns).
But...then I read it again. And it made all the difference. The second time around, I got the descriptions coming to life in my brain.
The story line was spectacular and drew me. But you know what? It's not those rhymes that loved me (although they were good),
it was the friggen pace!!
Man, seriously fast. It speed up like I was at the Grand Prix. I loved the ending. I loved what you did. It cut me to the core.
Affected me. I also loved the lead up to the end. All the talk about the Koran and jihad and so on. But that outro, wow.
Amazing imagery. Great story telling.

"...She says “Im sorry willie Day. Have you heard about Kate”
She was downtown with your son today, at the Parade
And some crazed lunatic gunned them down and escaped..."

You've got heaps I could quote, but this lil bit here, was a knife to the heart.
It stabbed me.

Both lovely pieces of writing from two talented writers.
I'm in awe of your abilities.
This was a close one for me, in that I really liked both pieces, but I've gotta go with the one that revved me up a little more.

V - Enoch Light.


Thanks fellas.

[143]

Congratulations to Enoch Light

As the new Sacred Scriptures Champion....