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Thread: Meant to be

  1. #1

    Meant to be

    If you look into my eyes
    you'll see the love i have for you
    this love is pure and wise
    this love is completely true

    if you look into my heart
    you'll see just what you mean to me
    without you I feel like feel like im falling apart
    It's you who owns the key

    If you look into my soul you'll find
    that we are meant to be
    you prove to me that love ain't blind
    I'll love you for eternity

    Put these things together
    and hopefully you'll realize
    that we are meant for each other
    so open your beautiful blue eyes
    It's me standing here before you
    your very own best friend
    i love everything you do
    I'll love you until the end
    We don't have to rush things
    But your everything i need
    this isnt just a little "fling"
    your the flower to my weed
    you make my smile
    on the shittiest days
    for you I'd walk a thousand miles
    i love you in so many ways
    I'll fulfil your every fantasy
    and make your dreams come true
    I'll do anything to make you see
    that I was meant for you.

  2. #2
    .:LadySage:.
    Guest
    THIS WAS MAD SWEET
    AWWW
    I LOVED IT, BEAUTIFUL EMOTION
    LIKE I SAY AS LONG AS ITS FROM THE HEART THE TECHNICAL ASPECTS DONT MATTER..SO IM NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT
    IT'S OBVIOUS YOUR FEELINGS ARE TRUE
    NICE DROP
    KEEP ELEVATIN

  3. #3
    *Daughter of 00* DthsMissingAngel's Avatar
    Join Date
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    WOW, I was totally feelin this! A lot of emotion, feeling, and love put into this. Yes, it is obvious that your feelings are true. Hang on to that love..

    If u want the whole technical parts of it. Everything was perfect. The long section at the end seemed a little weird, but it all fit together so its iight.
    Overall, GREAT AZZ DROP! I loved it. Keep droppin. Most respect.

    *(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
    «´¨`·..* SwEeT PeA *..·´¨`»
    *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*

  4. #4
    MoparMaddness
    Guest
    GREAT piece. awesome structure. i can feel the love and emotion going through this piece like a constant heat flow. i was told by someone close to me "find someone u love and never let that person go". take my advise, follow your heart.

    MM

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Smooth JT's Avatar
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    This is a great peice. The emotion was well felt and everything was easy to read. The guy ur wirtin bout must be really special and I hope he relizes it. Great drop, keep writin JT
    "Leave your feedback on the page because only the peanut gallery is welcome here"

    "You laugh at me bacause i'm different but I laugh at you because your all the same"

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins
    flow- was there, and the way you kinda separted in to two pieces, made it seem like with the second part it picked and there more truth and feelings came out

    structure- was good, but sometimes i felt like some lines could be stretched out some more, of that the way the words were arranged did fit the piece, but it didnt take much away from the piece.

    vocab- the one thing i can think to say about this is that you need to branch out when trying to compare what your feeling or whats going on to something everybody knows. in this piece you seem to fall into the rut of using the same comparisons that everybody has used, and is over used. put your flavor in it and make unique.

    emotion- could feel that it was there, and that it was strong

    message/topic- is one that is used often so remember you have to put something different in it some its not the same read as someone elses only rearranged. make us think about it all over again

    ~Tera~
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Twizted Ayngel's Avatar
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    At first I didnt think I'd like this because honestly I think sometimes people's love poems, and happy poems, ...they try to FORCE the emotion out into it, but the emotion you had in this was there, and it was real. You could feel the feelings you were when you read each word of this poem. I had to read the last part a few times to see how it fit in with the rest of the poem, because the structure of that was a little different... but truthfully after you read it over... you can tell it fits. The poem is great, the feelings are there, the structure is nice, and the topic is often used-but you did it beautifully. Great job.
    <center>RIP - 7.18.O2..7.19.O2..7.22.O2
    7.24.O4 ... 11.o8.o4
    o4.o9.o5
    7.o2.o6
    7.o7.o6
    Forever in my heart.

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